Your everything I've ever dreamed of you sing like a bird your gorgeous your funny your friendly your sensitive your caring your unique and one day I will kill you.

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How do you get a clown off a swing? You hit him with an axe How can you release your anger at somebody? Kill them How do you stop a bus? Throw small children at it

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What did the beaver say to the other beaver? Nothing because beavers are wild, indigenous species thus incapable of speech.

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What's invisible and smells like carrots? Rabbit farts. What's invisible and smells like rabbit farts? Carrots, if you're blind.

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Why do they call it a clock radio?... because it's both.

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What has legs but may never walk? A Vietam Vet

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Nickelback ranked number 1 as greatest rock band according to rolling stones magazine!

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What did the fish say? Moo

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how did hitler fit 100 Jews in his car??? he couldn't, his car only fits 5 people.

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your father died

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Why is the sky blue? Because it is.

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You have 5 $1 dollar bills. Your mom rapes you and you still have 1 $5 dollar bill.

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What's the difference between a jew and a boyscout? A boyscout comes back from camp.

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What time is it when an elephant sits on your watch? I don't know, I don't have a watch anymore.

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Whats worse than a dead whore? 9/11

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Why does Susie fall off the swing? I shot her in the head with a pistol.

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Knock Knock! Who's there? So. So who? Cares.

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If she is under the age of 18 years old and is identified by your state as a minor, shes too young for you bro.

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Martin Luther King Jr. had a dream..... But Leonardo DiCaprio had a dream within a dream within a dream within a dream.

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what did the comedian tell the audience? a joke.

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How its supposed to go: Knock knock Who's there? I eat mop. I eat mopwho? How my friend Cassidy did it: Knock knock Who's there? I eat my poo! Oh wait I screwed up.

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How do you kill a blond? Well there are many ways the most effiont way is to shoot them

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What do you do with dead chemists? You carefully place their remnants in a casket, which is to be placed in a precisely dug hole. Once the casket is placed, you put a gravestone into the ground, signifying the chemists' date of birth and death.

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a rabbi,a priest and minister didn't walk into a bar. Bars are for fun and fun is for not completely insane brainwashed people.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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