How many times have I told you not to do that? Fourteen.

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One time I went into a haunted house. It was just pretend ghosts but then I saw a real ghost there. It was scary.

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Why did the addict choke himself with a trash bag? His family couldn't afford a funeral and it was the quickest way to disappear.

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What do you call a black airman? A pilot!

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Your momma's so fat she died five years ago.

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What do you say if you see your TV floating in the middle of the night? I'm not sure, but I would probably have nightmares for a couple weeks.

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Your mom is so fat, that it causes great concern for her family.

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Stevie Wonder has put on a lot of weight since the 70's. I feel really bad for him because he can't watch what he eats.

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Hgiugsf s8dyfgc sdyhgd©•øˆ????ª•†®???ßßs cdiug dvyg 34t5 fd87 vrry utgg erug 46 5gtyrue fVTU? Tree.

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Q: What did the man do when he won the lottery? A: He kept it for himself and left his family.

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why did the lesbians shop at modell's? because they thought the store had reasonable prices and considerable discounts

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I see London, I see France, I am in an airplane on my way to Europe.

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How many jews can you fit in a car? That depends on the volume of the car and the size of the people involved - different cars are of different sizes and can fit a different number of people. For instance, you could probably fit more than 20 midget jews in a van but you could probably not fit as many overweight jews in a coupé. However if you put some effort into getting as many standard sized people, in this case jews for reasons unknown, into a standard size sedan you should be able to fit about seven or eight in the car itself and one in the trunk, making a total of nine or ten.

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A black man in a country bar.

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Yo momma is so ugly, she might not win the "America's next top model" contest.

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An Englishman, an Irishman and a Scotsman walk into a bar. They have trouble understanding each other.

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What did the man do when he saw there was water spilled on his desk? He waited two hours for it to evaporate because he was too lazy to wipe it up.

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Why is it hot outside? Because God made it so.

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What's green, long, and covered in forks? Grass. I lied about the forks.

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Knock Knock! Who's there? So. So who? Cares.

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WNBA

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A guy walks into a bar. He orders a coke. The bartender looks at the gentlemen with a little smile and says "Just a coke?"

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A dog goes to his food bowl. He eats his dinner.

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like for a handjob.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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