What is white, long, and thin? A tablecloth

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Potato.

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Parents: What do you want for your birthday? Boy: A yellow ping pong ball. 7th birthday P: What would you like for your birthday son? B: A yellow ping pong ball 13th birthday P: What would you like for you birthday son? B:A yellow ping pong ball. P:Hmm, fine. 17th birthday P: What would you like for your birthday son? B: A yellow ping pong ball. P: That's is I'm getting you a car! Day before 18th the boy drives into a bridge. He lies in his hospital bed and his parents are there. P: What would you like for you birthday tomorrow? B: A yellow ping pong ball. P: Fine. Why do you want these ping pong balls anyway? B: Because. And then he died.

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Yo mama's so fat she couldn't ride on roller coasters with you in Disney world. Sometimes you wish you could share more fond memories with her.

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How many times have I told you not to do that? Fourteen.

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What did santa claus say when he saw a girl standing on the corner? Ho Ho Ho... ;)

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A grasshopper goes into a bar It is stepped on and crushed.

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Yo momma is so fat, I gave her a cupcake and she enjoyed it.

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Why can't Helen Keller hear? She's dead

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Whats the differance between a lawnmower and a sack of dead babies? I dont have a lawnmower in my garage

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How is the difference between a door? Its a chicken, because they don't have wheels.

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Women's Sports

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What do you call a black airman? A pilot!

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One time I went into a haunted house. It was just pretend ghosts but then I saw a real ghost there. It was scary.

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Q: What is a duck's favorite thing to smoke? A: Quack

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What do you say if you see your TV floating in the middle of the night? I'm not sure, but I would probably have nightmares for a couple weeks.

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Knock, knock. Who's there? Bailiffs.

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Roses are red, violets are blue. Grass is green.

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Stevie Wonder has put on a lot of weight since the 70's. I feel really bad for him because he can't watch what he eats.

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knock knock. Who's there? John. John who? John Wayne Gacy.

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Your mom is so fat, that it causes great concern for her family.

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Q: What did the man do when he won the lottery? A: He kept it for himself and left his family.

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What do you a call a guy on steroids? A Body Builder

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There are two hippopotamus' in a pond cooling off from the hot day. One is named Nathaniel IV and the other Timothy. Timothy asks Nathaniel, "Nathaniel, what day is it today?" Nathaniel then replies," I believe it is Tuesday." Timothy is taken back then replies," How odd. I could've sworn it was Wednesday."

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops