Why didn't the lactose intolerant man get a drink at the bar? He was the designated driver.

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Guess what? No.

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Why did the boy have cable? I don't know.

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Haikus are awesome but sometimes they don't make sense hippopotamus

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Penis-Pump

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What's big, yellow and green? The sun, i was kidding about the green

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Q: What did the anorexic girl do for thanksgiving? A: Nothing, she was paralyzed from a fall 2 days prior and nobody had found her yet.

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A fat guy eats a twinkie.

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she's dead

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What is the difference between a duck?

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as i unscrewed my belly button and suddenly my butt fell off

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Whats the difference between a trampoline and a pile of dead babies? Ones fun to jump on, the others just a trampoline.

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Why was Six afraid of Seven? Because Seven was a terrorist.

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On Friday the 13th,I had one of those dreams of when you go to school in your underwear. I then realised it wasn't a dream.

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Anagram.

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A man and two women walk into the a house. When they leave out come 2 babies with them. What happened in that house? They were babysitting.

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A man with a ski mask leaves a jewelry store He then goes back because he accidentally took the clerk's pen

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no

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what do you call a group of people who are systematiclly ruining a once well run family football club? steve kean , the venkys, and there advisors

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Q: How many jews does it take to screw in a light bulb? A: 6 million and 1

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theres a mexican, an asian, and an american in a plane, they're about to crash, so they all have to throw out something they have a lot of in their country. The Mexican throws out beans, and says "I have to many of these in my country." The Asian throws out rice and says "i have to many of these in my country." The American throws out the Mexican and says "I have to many of these in my country."

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What do apples and bananas have in common? They're both red (except for bananas).

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A bear is chasing a rabbit through the woods. The rabbit stumbles into a genie while coming to a clearing. The Genie says, "I will give you both three wishes." The bear thinks quickly and says, "I wish every bear in the forest was female." The Genie then grants the wish. "And...now I wish that each bear in the country was female!" The Genie grants the wish. "AND I WISH THAT EVERY BEAR IN THE WORLD WAS FEMALE!!!" the bear exclaims, now getting overly excited by his wishes. The Genie grants the last wish and then turns to the rabbit. "Your turn." The rabbit wishes for a pair of running shoes and the well being of his family and friends. For his last wish he points at the bear and says, "I wish he was gay."

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A:Will you be my valentine? B:No

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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