Why do women wear make-up and perfume? Because they're ugly and stink.

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If you challenge the tarsier to a staring contest, it wouldnt undersand a word you say, but it would stare at you when you would think that was apropos. the tarsier wouldnt really think anything and would just make a peepee

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SCP-009-J is missing. Where has it gone? Is it under the table? Was it sat upon? Is it there on the ceiling? Is it under the rug? Was it gobbled right up by a quantum pillbug? Did it run through the tunnel? Did it fall down the stair? Was it sent back in time to a carnival fair? Did it get on a train to a far-away place? Is it locked in a falsified beacon from space? Did it fall in the oobleck and [DATA EXPUNGED]? If it clogged up the sink, will it have to be plunged? Just where has SCP-009-J gotten to? Oh wait, that's right! SCP-009-J is you!

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why did the cow die because she ate poisoned apple pie

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Two Jews are on their way to the giant oven, one looks back at the other in fear and says, "I think I overcooked the lasagna."

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What's the difference between a giraffe and an erection? An erection is much easier to obtain.

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Charlie Sheen walks into a bar, he relapses.

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What do you do when you walk downstairs and see your TV floating? Call Ghostbusters.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't it was hit by a bus.

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So a magician was driving down the road and then he turned into a driveway!

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Why did the car stop? It ran out of gas.

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Girls Basketball.

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They say those with anti-humour are the wisest.

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Roses are Violets, Violets are Roses, I am a dumb ass, The Hobbit.

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Justin Beiber

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Why did the dog smile? It didn't. Humans are the only creatures on planet Earth capable of smiling, therefore, dogs are unable to smile.

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she's dead.

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What does a rock become when it falls into the red sea? Wet.

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Don't you spell Pewdiepies name like "Pewdipie" than Pew-die-pie? Like who wants to kill a pie?

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How do you make a blonde happy? Do something that causes that person to release endorphins.

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whats funny ? not you i am telling the joke around here

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who touched the priests sticky hand? Jake Duncan

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what is the awesomest of them all? me

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After a long romantic date with my girl friend I went home. Upon walking to my bathroom for a dootie i realize that I'm gay. So I break up with my girl friend and I am now in a wonderful relationship with Jose, He sell's sea shells at discount prices.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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