Why did the man have trouble breathing after meeting the President? He had a collapsed lung.

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Why did Hitler kill himself? Cause he couldn't afford to pay the gas bill.

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The frightened girl did everything the man said. " Open your legs. Bend over..." She was playing Simon says and was afraid to loose. It wasn't rape, which her sister had experienced while traveling in 2007.

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What do you call Eric Torres A furnace magnet

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Hey! do you have any updog? Nothing much! you?

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what do you call a white man surround by a bunch of black men in prison a congraulation ceromony (and gang rape) pppppppppppppppppppeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeennnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnniiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiissssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss

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Your mama's so fat she can't have children.

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A dyslexic man walks into a bra. He then proceeds to ask his wife not to leave her clothing around the house.

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A black guy, a white guy and a Pakistani are walking together when they see a lamp, They rub the lamp and out pops a Genie who, with only three wishes to grant, lets them have one wish each. The Pakistani wishes that all people of Pakistani origin are returned to their country with health and wealth. The black guy thinks this is a good idea and asks for the same for all Africans and Caribbean's. The white guy says "are there really no more Pakistani's or blacks in the country?" The Genie confirms this is accurate. The white guy is devastated, who will drive the buses, operate the power stations, produce the medicines and work in the hospitals that these people did? I wish for them to be returned.

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Knock, knock (No one was home)

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your mommas so ugly it is affecting her self esteem!

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what do you call a black man on crack? a crackhead.

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Why did the womens basketball team beat the mens? the men were locked in a refrigerator

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Want to hear a joke? Jokes are not allowed on this site. Only anti-jokes.

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why was 6 afraid of 7? 7 is your mom

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A Muslim walked out of a bomb shop.

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Q: "What's brown and rhymes with Snoop?" A: Dr. Dre

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The lemons on the tree are ripe. They will be picked.

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How do you make a builder sad? You shit on his bricks.

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Fuzzy Whuzzy was a bear. Fuzzy Whuzzy has no hair. Fuzzy Whuzzy has Cancer.

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What did the baby say to its mother after breastfeeding? Nothing

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Why did the Filipino hate internet advertising? Because navigating around a webpage with pestering visual and audible promotions often proves cumbersome and distracting from the task at hand.

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Smart Blondes

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Why was the white guy eating himself? He was a autocannibal.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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