Hi my name is Jim

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What does WTF stand for? Welcome to Facebook!

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See now that is confident and down to earth, reasonable, and all the etc etc`s, so what would you like me to fill them in with? Joking aside, you are smart, funny, you take a beating (sorry that`s today`s new low point, I have never hit a woman and never will, sure I punched down the GigaLesb when she lifted me up and my spine started making cracking noises, but that does not technically count as a woman). You are sweet, you are cute, you are funny, you are hot hot hot (hattrick see?), and yeah yeah if you want me to prove to people here that we know each other, sure, I met you once like 15 years ago? You kinda adored me, I could not take my eyes of yours (oh yeah, you got adorable eyes sure), and... You got huge breasts (Tits are more like those hanging you know what I mean) Sigh sometimes a boy wonders what he is doing with his life, he falls for the strangest girls... ...AND THEN SAID BOY FINDS HIMSELF BROKEN IN TWINE BY ME!

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What do you call a gay lion tamer. It depends on their name.

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How many rabbits does it take to screw in a light buld? None, it is scientifically impossible for a rabbit to climb a ladder and screw in a light bulb.

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I have a black guy in my family tree? Yea, his still hanging their

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your mom

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How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? As much as he wants to.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Refrigerators come in an assortment of colors

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What do you get when you cross a fan with a child? A mess that you now have to clean up.

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why did the imagrant cross the road the cops were on his tail for false identity of the chicken

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what's the difference between fulham and sunderland ? hugh grant and lilly allen's dad

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Why did the cookie go to the doctor's office? He had brain cancer.

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Why was the boy sad? He had just been in a terrible car accident in which he witnessed his entire family die painful, violent deaths, thus he suffered survivor's guilt. Also he dropped his ice cream.

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A black man says "ask" correctly.

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Joe Biden

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Knock knock. Who's there? Mark. Oh Hai Mark

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What did the Vietnam veteran see on Christmas that changed his life? Nothing, he was blind. He continued to live his life in the same way, begging for drug money and getting bullied by all the other homeless vets.

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-What do you call the brown spots in your yard? -Dog shit.

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Struggling with self esteem? Wish you were more attractive? Well stop wishing you fugly cum dumpster.

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A black person and a hispanic person are in a car, who is driving? The black person, after all it's his car.

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Why did the rabbit fall out of the tree? because it was dead Why did the bird fall out of the tree? because it was stapled to the rabbit

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what did the lawyer say to the doctor? hello.

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Why did hitler commit suicide He looked at his gas bill

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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