Why couldn't the cat drink the milk? Because it had no face

Why can't Helen Keller drive a car? Because she's dead.

Why did the man go to the toilet with his brother? Because Mario and Luigi had to go down in it.

like a cammel, lewis stores his weed in his back

If you are my friend like it!

What do you call the alarm system in a failing inner-city school? A dumbbell!

What did Michael Jackson say to the little boy? Nothing. He's been dead for over three years.

I like my coffee like my women. Without a penis.

An American man and a Chinese man have a conversation. The American man asks the Chinese man after a couple of minutes of speaking, "How long have you lived in the United States?" The Chinese man replies, "I moved to the United States when I was ten years old."

what is the entire jewish population minus about 13 million? The Holocaust.

How many blondes does it take to dye their own hair black and act in an intelligent, sensible manner?

What's the difference between a cow and a purple sweater? They're both purple Besides the cow

What did the man do when he walked into the gym? Died of a brain aneurysm.

Knock knock Who's there? Police Police who? You're under arrest, open up or we'll knock your door down

Want to hear a joke about my penis? Nevermind it's too long.

Yo momma so stupid that she went to get a college degree from a community college and along with her education now has a greater opportunity to earn money with that knowledge.

What do you call a tall midget? Well tall is a relative term so a midget may be considered tall compared to something or someone shorter. Say if a midget was compared to a baby he/she would be considered tall, considering the baby's small height. However midgets are looked at short by most people who are taller than them because of their physical problem that they can do nothing about.

Why was the picture so dark? Because it was night time and there were no light fixtures located anywhere near where the photo was taken.

What happened when the homosexual man came out of the closet? He was congratulated for winning the hide and seek contest.

8

Bill: Did you hear someone said you sounded like an owl? Dave: Who?

There is a Mexican and a Black guy in a car. Who's driving? The Mexican, you racist bastard.

this sentence will not monkey banana pie

what's worse than a hole in your sock? Getting raped!

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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