When life gives you lemons, you realise that life isn't a physical object and therefore you have problems. Have a nice day.

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You should never talk to strangers.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Some poems rhyme, Others dont

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A Man walks in to a bar and orders a pint of lager, he notices something floating on the top of his drink so he calls over the bartender. "Excuse me, I think there's something in my dr-" The man's sentence was cut short as a man with a gun had just walked into the bar. He killed everyone, there were no survivors.

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A black man walks into a bank with a gun......he is a 25-year veteran SWAT team officer attempting to arrest two armed robbers that have 5 old ladies hostage.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue this poem sucks, GET OVER IT -brett

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how long does it take a black woman to shit? 3 to 5 minutes depending on the food she ingested earlier that day

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From the makers of Call of Duty 1, comes Call of Duty 2.

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Me, myself, and I walked into a bar. We didn't say anything to each other because I'm not schetsophrenic.

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What kind of jokes to dairy farmers tell? Corny jokes.

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so there are 3 people who have heard of this magical cliff; theyre names are harry, dick, and joe. how the cliff works is that when you jump off you turn into whatever you say as you jump. first harry jumps off and yells plane, he turns into a plane and flys off. next dick jumps off and yells bird he turns into a bird and flys off. finally joe steps up to the cliff as he was walking he trips and falls as hes falling he yells HARRY DICK he than hits the ground and dies. everyone mourned for such a well respected individual.

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What happened to the boy who lost his arm? He got on suprisingly well in life considering he has the use of only one arm, and got a terrific job. He managed to meet a woman, , and he was a generally happy guy. He lived to a great age, and he, nor anyone around him, ever thought of him as different or disabled. It's good to hear a happy anti joke once in a while isn't it guys?

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Why did Jack got late to his date? Because he was playing Call of Duty and forgot about the time.

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why did the poet kill the blackchicken? as a source of inspiration for his poultry

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One day i had to piss. I went to the bathroom.

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Why should you be concerned when you see a mexican riding a bike? because he probably wasnt wearing a helmet

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Knock Knock Who's there? Gestapos.

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Knock Knock Who's There? Hi, I'm just going through the neighborhood to let everyone know that women secretly enjoy being raped.

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Why do Asians squint their eyes? They were born like that.

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whats water and frozen? an ice cube

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Black people are ugly. They should not live in this world. They are apes. They should live as apes not humans. Why do they have ugly curly hair, fat lips, and a big flat nose? SO UGLY!! EWW

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this girl died

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What's brown and sticky? The british econonic system from 2 May 1997 to 27 June 2007.

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Roused are red violets are blue I just s*** in my own poo

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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