Why couldn't the blonde fix the lightbulb? It was shattered.

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Why did the black man cry? He had no rights.

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Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, you should be a con artist.

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What do you call a guy who makes jokes about a girl being in the kitchen? Single.

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If you challenge the tarsier to a staring contest, it wouldnt undersand a word you say, but it would stare at you when you would think that was apropos. the tarsier wouldnt really think anything and would just make a peepee

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Q) 1+1=? A) 6.

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YOLO.

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Q: how do you crush a Chinese man's dreams? A: tell him he is worthless and will never prosper.

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Roses are red voilets are blue,you are gay so fuck you,!

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Alex Eggbert

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what do get when you blend zebra, a cow and a walrus? A not very good smoothie

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I hate blackniggers

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Why did Obama win the president election He had a greater amount of votes that Jonh mccain

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whose better then Sarah, Georgia and ellie NO ONE!!!!

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Seriously tho, too much sex? I need to know dog.

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A schizophrenic man walks into a bar. He has split personalities and does not realize that he has murdered his family.

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A man is so drunk that the alcohol has a biphasic effect on the body, meaning that its effects change over time. Initially, alcohol typically produces feelings of relaxation and cheerfulness. Increased consumption, however, can lead to dehydration, coordination problems, blurred vision, and a great number of health, medical, and social issues and other drinking problems caused by alcoholism. As articulated above, excessive alcohol consumption can lead to drunkenness. One of the short term effects of intoxication is the lowering of an individual's inhibitions. As a consequence, when people are intoxicated they frequently do things they normally would not do while sober, often ignoring legal, ethical, social, and moral or religious norms. While blurred vision, slurred speech, dehydration, and coordination can be labeled as "alcohol short term effects," other health problems such as alcohol related heart disease, liver disease, and cancer, on the other hand, can be labeled as long term effects of alcohol abuse and alcoholism. This, however brief, is an overview of the effects of alcohol. What remains to be discussed, however, is what Paul Harvey calls "the rest of the story." Essentially, "the rest of the story" is a more detailed analysis of how excessive alcohol affects an individual's life and the lives of those around him or her when the person becomes an alcoholic and suffers from alcoholism. Perhaps the most logical way to discuss this complex topic is to focus first on the classic alcoholic behaviors and effects of alcohol in the four states of alcoholism; then examine some of the "social effects" of alcohol and alcoholism and finally, discuss the medical conditions, health issues, and drinking problems that are caused directly or indirectly by alcoholism.

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Four Iraqis played hide and seek 17 years ago, one of them missing, why? he's still hiding.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding out it's an orange

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What does a rock become when it falls into the red sea? Wet.

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Why can't Hellen Keller drive? Because she's dead.

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Why did the Muslim get on the plane in New York? To go visit his dying aunt in Memphis.

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What's the cure to Ebola? Suicide

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If you looked up stupid in Webster's dictionary, you wouldn't see a picture of yourself, because Webster's dictionary doesn't have pictures.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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