How do you make a baby float? Take your foot of its head.

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A cow walks into a store. The clerk asks "how may i help you sir?" The cow says "Im a cow stupid!" and storms out.

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Why can't Helen Keller drive a car? Because she's dead.

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Why did the pig fly cuz his wife is a bitch

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Why did Pamela Anderson cross the road? To meet me.

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What do you call a man with no arms and no legs hanging on the wall? Art.

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Roses are red violets are blue I would test our new water bed so be carefull with your helled shoe!

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What do you call the alarm system in a failing inner-city school? A dumbbell!

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Q.What did the anti-joke reader say to the doctor? A-My finger is stuck on the dislike button.

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what did the boy with no arms or legs get for christmas? cancer

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Why did the man go to the toilet with his brother? Because Mario and Luigi had to go down in it.

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Stranger: Greetings. House-owner: No, you were supposed to say, "Knock, Knock". Stranger: Fine. Knock, knock... House-owner: Nobody's home. Stranger: These quirks are really getting on my nerve. Silly antics only serve to frustrate me. Oh, the irony!

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Why aren't there alligators in a bookstore? Because alligators would pose a danger to customers.

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How do you know when you're on a Jewish golf course? The players don't yell 'FORE' they yell '$3.99!' @Obsequiously

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Knock knock? Who's there? To. To who? To WHOM.

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What did the father say to his daughter? "I'm going to rape you."

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side.

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Why did the girl commit suicide? She has been abused severely for seven years by her pet kangaroo.

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what's green and has wheels? grass, i lied about the wheels.

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knock knock who's there? a murder who? a murder who kills you and your family.

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There is a Mexican and a Black guy in a car. Who's driving? The Mexican, you racist bastard.

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What's funnier than the Holocaust? Most things, as the Holocaust was a terrible tragedy.

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Q: What did Batman say to get robin into the Batmobile? A: Robin, get in the Batmobile!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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