Why did jack fall down the hill ? Because Jill pushed him.

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Q:What did the robot say to the boy? A:Nothing the robot malfunctioned and started choking the boy, despite the towns best efforts they could not release the death grip on the boys throat, after the robot was done choking the boy it exploded killing 99% of the population in a 5 mile radius.

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Q: Who are the fastest readers? A: 9/11 jumpers 200 stories in 5 seconds

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What has four wheels and smells like an asshole? YOU.

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What does it take to make the best anti-joke ever? words

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knock knock zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz knock knock zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz knock kock ding dong ding di-ding dong zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz sigh weeeeeeeeeewooooooooooooooooo zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz hey yo wake up zzz-oh-huh-what-whos there i've been yelling for like five minutes oh sorry jim will you let me in already all right

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Larry stopped by today to drop of a package. The package was a bomb. So I gave the "gift" to my neighbor for her birthday. My Mom is my neighbor.

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what's funnier than 3 dead babies in a trashcan pretty much anything thats not funny

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Chuck Norris drove to McDonalds and ordered a Whopper. Much to his dismay, McDonalds does not make Whoppers, because that is the signature fast-food burger of McDonald's biggest competitor, Burger King.

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YOU SUCK RYAN V!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! U SUCK BALLS!!!!!!!!!!!!

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How do you get a clown off a swing? You hit him with an axe How can you release your anger at somebody? Kill them How do you stop a bus? Throw small children at it

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What's the difference between Mitt Romney and a cheese grader? How the hell should i know?

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Why is amouse afraid of cheese? Because they usually die when they get it

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Can Helen Keller keep a secret? No, she didn't hear it in the first place

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Why could the boy not stop shaking? He has Parkinsons Syndrome.

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So a disabled man walks into a bar...

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Guess whats in my hand. Can you guess? A gun. Bam bam, you're dead. Haha

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Why did Billy want cancer? So he could be like his parents.

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q

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[Insert hurtful, yet spontaneous comment here.]

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Why do they censor everything on here? Because **** **** ******* *** ***** *****.

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THIS IS NOT SPARTA! *pulls him out of the hole*

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Roses are red Voilets are blue I have a gun Get in the Van

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What did the man do after he took a bite of his pie? Chew. After that? Swallow. Then? Repeat.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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