What do you do when a blonde throws a hand grenade at you? Run.

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THIS IS NOT SPARTA! *pulls him out of the hole*

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Mitt Romney penis

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say this really fast dick chick, chick, dick, dick chick,chick dick, dick chick if you cant like it

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Knock-knock who's there? interrupting cow interupting cow who? moo.

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Why didn't Jeffrey become a butler? He did become a butler.

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yo mamma's so stupid, she is not that smart.

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How many mice does it take to screw in a light bulb? Two.

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What does the alien say to the man? Nothing, because it is highly unlikely that an alien would ever land on Earth, and even more unlikely that they would speak the same language of us. On top of that, aliens would not know anything about our species, and would probably hide from us due to being frightened and eventually flee back to their home planet where we would never see them again because our techonology is not advanced enough and the chances that we would find their planet which is somewhere among the billions of planets in the universe, are slim.

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Your everything I've ever dreamed of you sing like a bird your gorgeous your funny your friendly your sensitive your caring your unique and one day I will kill you.

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How do you get a clown off a swing? You hit him with an axe How can you release your anger at somebody? Kill them How do you stop a bus? Throw small children at it

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Women's rights.

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Knock, knock. Who's there? Suzie. How is that even possible?

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What is black and hangs from trees in my backyard? Not black berries because black berries come from a bush.

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Q

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What do Molly and Sharon have in common? They both annoy me.

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Why did the tree catch on fire? A phinix hit it!

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A penguin walks into a bakery. The baker asks the penguin: What kind of bread would you like, brown or white? Penguins answers: Well, it doesn't really matter since I drove here.

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What did the dog say to the cat? Nothing, animals can't talk.

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What's the difference between George Washington and Wiz Khalifa? George Washington died many years ago.

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Roses are Red Violets are Blue I have Alzheimer's ... Roses are Red Violets are blue I have Alzheimer's (continues)

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What is the best kind of necro? Dead necro.

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What do you call a black hitch-hiker? Stranded

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What's Brown and sticky? A stick!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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