What do you get when you cross a donkey and a horse? a mule

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The World Record For Longest Game of Hide and Seek goes to... Binladin

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what did the black guy say to his friend who was on acid? man you trippin.

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What do you call a fish with no "eyes" Dead

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what did the man do when he went to save the other man from drowning? drowned with him...

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What do you call a kid with cancer? screwed

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what did the american say to the other american? get out of the way i gotta go to mcdonalds!

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What did the boy with no arms and legs get for Christmas? A treadmill... did I mention he was kinda fat?

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A man walks into a bar and says "hey, it's me!". Turns out that wasn't him.

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A:Knock Knock, B:Who's There? A:Orange, B:Orange Who? A:Orange Banana.

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More mindfuck "government hypnosis edition": What can doctors possibly do in order for you to wait enough for them to come to help you? They call you "their PATIENT!" Moral: So be patient and wait, oh thee brainwashed.

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How do you survive in the wilderness? You nail an orphan to a rock underwater.

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Why did the baby start crying? Its mom slapped it in the face, causing permanent brain damage that would haunt it throughout its life.

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Q: How did Whitney Houston die? A: Who?

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A man walks into a bar and orders a water. He then drinks his water and leaves. The following day he returns to the bar and again orders a water. He repeats this for many days until finally one day the bartender asks him why he comes every day to just drink water. The man replies, "Water is free. I got laid off from my job last week. Rough economy, you know." The bartender starts charging him for water, and the man becomes homeless.

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Q: What happens when you hit a man with a car? A: You speed away hoping no one saw, you spend the next month and a half agonizing over your crime as it consumes you because you think of the poor man's family, then you either go to prison or hang yourself from a fan all because you wanted road dome....

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"You know what my motto in life is?" "No" "Oh, that's a shame."

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Okay, So a Cow, a Lumberjack and a Fireman walk into a bar. The cow asks the bartender, "What kind of milk do you have?" The bartender looks confused and asks," Why would a cow want milk?" The cow replies,"I've been producing milk all my life and I've never had a chance to try it. I'd just like some milk." The bartender replies,"Okay we have whole milk, 2%, and skim milk. What'll you have?" The cow says,"Whole milk, I want the whole deal." The bartender obliges. Next the Lumberjack comes up to the bar. The bartender asks, "What'll you have?" The lumberjack asks for some syrup. The bartender inquiries,"What kind of syrup would you like?" The lumberjack answers,"Pure Maple, imitation, or chocolate. All work for me." The bartender turns and pours a shot of pure maple syrup and turns away. Finally the fireman walks up the the bartender and says, "Can I have a glass of water?" The bartender turn and ask inquisitively,"Why?" The fireman quickly replies,"TO PUT OUT THE FIRE!"...

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How do you stop someone from simply copying an already posted anti-joke? No, seriously, how do you?

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What's a zombie's favourite dessert? I don't know, but I'll give you 50 bucks to go and ask one.

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What do you call two Mexicans playing basketball? A bad decision because soccer is in their blood

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What's black, white, has green stripes and smells like eggs? I don't know. That's why I'm asking.

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What's round and red? A red and round solid.

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Did the boy ever tell you how he died? Trick questions he's dead, deceased bodies can't talk.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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