What's worse than a needle in a hay stack? A needle in a stack of drug addicts.

You can buy me a rose, and if I love roses, that rose would make me happy, you can buy me a large house by the ocean, but if I do not like big empty spaces and dislike the sea, it would make me sad. I am no longer sure what would make me happy, so no.

how do you get a baby to stop swinging from a fan whack it with a shovel

Why did the chicken cross the road? Well, it was Friday night (or Halloween or St. Patty's Day) and the chicken was at a party. He got totally drunk, and then got the bright idea that it would be okay to drive home. On a rural two-lane highway, his vehicle careened into the oncoming traffic lane, and then the ditch, thus crossing the road. Fortunately, he walked away with only a few scratches. However, he was cited for wreckless driving, and got a DUI as well.

A man walks into a bar. Ouch

Michael Brown

What happens when you choke a smurf? Nothing, smurfs aren't real.

When life hands you lemons... do not squeeze them, for juice may squirt into your eye, causing severe pain.

You know what they say about big feet... Wow, those are some big feet.

Hey

What is brown and sticky? Poop

Why did the Skyrim guard stop adventuring? He got cancer.

Why did the computer crash? Because the driver transporting the computer to his friend lost control of his vehicle.

What did the baby get for its 1st birthday? Nothing it was aborted.

How do u get an A in algebra? Train a possum.

Roses are grey, Violets are grey. I'm colour blind, It's a very depressing situation.

a man walks into a bar and says "help me, my daughter just got hit by a car! the bartender phones the ambulance and the girl survives.

whats the difference between chuck norris and a normal human being? nothing

Roses are red, violets are blue. I have a gun, get in the van

whats worse than 9/11? 9/12

Two men walk into a bar, they weren't looking where they were going.

Why didn't the 13 year old Black boy have any friends? He was autistic and didn't connect properly with people.

Nicolas Cage's acting.

Knock Knock! Who's there? So. So who? Cares.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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