Why didn't Tommy walk to school? 'Cause he was in a wheelchair..

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asian, do math

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What do you call a man wearing a costume similar to a stereotypical ghost? A mentally disabled man on halloween.

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MILEY CYRUS: ONLY GOD CAN JUDGE ME! ME: O GOD CALLED HE SAID YOUR A HOE TO

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Roses are red Violets are blue Some poems are pointless Refrigerator.

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Where's my shotgun

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What's Black white and red all over? Half a penguin

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why didn't little johnny show up to school on friday? little johnny died two months ago from cancer. he hasn't been to school in a year.

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What did the Scientist say to the bookstore owner he met? "Hi."

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What did Batman say to Robin before they got in the car? Robin, get in the car.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To see his brother im dying of leukemia.

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so i turned on my radio.. so i could like listen to some tunes but like, it wasnt working and then like my best bud leaf was all like dude, thats a toaster.

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What did the T-rex say to the velociraptor? Dinosaurs are extinct.

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What do you call a Chinese person with a computer for a head? Dead because it is impossible for your heart to function with out a brain

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Q: What do Obama and George Washington have in common? A: They are both intelligent, trustworthy presidents who truly care for what is best for the United States. Except for Obama.

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Why did Jack explode? He had a sneezier and his army friend Stephan threw a grenade at him because he was scared.

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A man runs over a woman with his car, whose fault was it? The woman's for trying to cross the street in the dark without a crosswalk.

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Q. Why did the Mexican have to go back to Mexico? A. His mom died in an auto accident and no one in her village could afford to organize a proper funeral.

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Q: What did one poor guy say to the other poor guy? A: We're both black

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What is better than winning a medal at the special olympics? Not being retarded

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What do you call a person with a big ass head? A person with a big ass head

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If you have five dollars and Chuck Norris has five dollars, a poor african child probably has nothing and is starving to death while you and Chuck debate on how to spend your five dollars.

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No, but it was a nice chance to pretend to, that was the scheme part I might have mentioned, people never figure out that you are fucking them over at the present, if you tell them you fucked them off in the past, they start thinking backwards, often ignoring those tiny details straight in front of them. Listen, call me a bit paranoid, but who the hell is Septimus and AzureDragon or whatever the fuck his little geek name was?

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what language does the turtle speak? i dont know I'm not a turtle.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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