If I had a gun with only 2 bullets, and was in a room with Hitler, Osama Bin Laden, and you; i would shot Hitler and Osama because they committed terrible crimes

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How do you scare a 5 year old girl? Stick your dick out.

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What's black and red and can go through time. I don't know but you have cancer and are going to die very soon.

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Knock knock Who's there? The mailman The mailman who? The MAILMAN The MAILMAN who? I'm the Fu*king mailman now here's your MAIL!

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What three letters alter boys into men and girls into women? The letter containing their bank card, the letter containing their national insurance card and the letter accepting them into a job or higher education placement.

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A man walks into a bar and the bartender says "Sorry sir we're closed" So the man goes: "Oh, okay. I wasn't sure if you guys were open till' 10pm tonight" and the bartender goes "Only on the weekends" The man thanks the bartender and proceeded to leave the bar. He now knows the arrive earlier the following day.

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What did the dog say to the dildo? Your rubber

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What do you do when you see a black child riding a bike? Think to yourself, "Wow you just don't see many kids riding bikes anymore because there too busy playing video games in their basement."

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conrad profit

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Juggling lions and breast feeding.

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Whats black and has wheels a black man i lied about the wheels

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A scotsmen, an Irishman and an Englishman all walk into a bar. The publican had accidentally left the door unlocked and the bar was in fact closed. So they left.

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Snooki want smoosh smoosh

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she's dead.

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So a catholic priest, a pedophile, and a rapist walk into a bar. He orders a beer.

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What is worse than finding a worm in an apple? The Holocaust

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whats purple and savage? Barney!

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What do you call a black man flying a plane. A pilot.

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What is sad about a kid dying in a bus accident? The other 20 survived

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Q: How did Whitney Houston die? A: Who?

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Q: Where did Bethany hide the dead baby? A: In the trash can

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2 dogs one jar of peanut butter

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what did the man do when he went to save the other man from drowning? drowned with him...

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how do you make a family tan? You burn them in the house.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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