A little boy started choking on a condom. His father came and was in a great panic. "Please don't leave me. I don't want to lose you!" he cried over and over again. Then his wife came in and said "it's alright darling, there's plenty more in the drawer". "Oh, thank God for that, I thought I lost it there!" dad replied.

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Why don't men ask for directions? They want to appear knowledgeable and strong. Asking for directions is sometimes considered a sign of weakness.

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Why is Skrillex bad at fishing? Lack of experience.

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How are Polish people and dogs the same? They aren't. One is a human being, and one is a dog. Do not be stupid.

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A Boy went up to his dad and told him he was hungry. His dad then beat him to death.

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A germaphobe is in a room full of sick people. He leaves.

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A man walks into a bar and talks with his friends. One of his friends said " Hey, who farted?" When the bar closed, Joe realized it was he who farted.

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What do you get when you mix a dog with speeding bus? Nothing, you can't mix those two things.

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whats worse than a dead baby? A pile of dead babies and their grieving mothers standing over them. thats what.

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Why did the boy fall out of his high chair? I'm not sure.

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What did the cat say when you rub it's stomach? Nothing because felines don't have the needed vocal organs to speak, and probaly wouldn't know english do to the size of there brain.

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What's black, white, green, red, blue, orange, gray, purple, and yellow? My art project.

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What's worse than having a bad hair day? Vietnam.

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Society has given up on chairs that spin.

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What's chris benoit doing? Just hangin in the gym

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It died.

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What's black and white, and red all over ? A penguin in a blender.

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wheres a place a cancer patient cant go? the hairdressers

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a black man a chinese man and a mexican man are all on a plane. they land safely and continue with their lives.

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Your mom is such a slut, she had unprotected sex at least once.

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whats worst than the holocaust? the holocaust times 2

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Omar the Magnificent is performing a huge magic show at a theater in New York City. His final trick will be to have his assistant saw him in half in front of the sold out crowd. Omar never knew how other magicians perform the trick. The crowd of hundreds watches Omar's assistant brutally murder him onstage and many require mental therapy for years to come.

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When do scientologists go to church? When they are done looking at porn.

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Yo mamas so fat

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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