Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was stapled to the first monkey. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Peer pressure. why did the refridgerator fall out of the tree? Because it wanted to be a monkey? Why did the John fall out of the tree? Because he has no arms and legs because he suffers from a severe case of lepracy. Why did Timmy fall off his bike? Because he got hit by three monkeys, a fridge and a boy with no limbs.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

whats softer than a furry blanket an indian

thumb_up thumb_down -23

W.N.B.A.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

fatest boner fatest boner fatest boner to adam ramsden

thumb_up thumb_down -25

whats the difference between an orange and a bicycle? One has handlebars..the other one doesnt.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

five high school freshmen get into a car on a Friday.They are too busy looking forward to the weekend that they speed into oncoming traffic and all die in a horrible collision.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

Why did the dodo cross the road Dodos are extinct so therefor they are unable to

thumb_up thumb_down -25

Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side.....

thumb_up thumb_down -27

What did Freddie Mercurys father say at Freddies funeral. "Thats the cleanest hole our Freddies ever been in".

thumb_up thumb_down -27

Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven raped and murdered his family.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

A hippie gets on a bus and greets the bus driver in a nice fashion Once the bus stops at his bus stop he thanks the bus driver and gets off the bus

thumb_up thumb_down -29

I like my coffee the same way I like my woman with big tits I lied about the woman

thumb_up thumb_down -31

whoa there

thumb_up thumb_down -31

Q: What's black and white, and red all over ? A: A penguin in a blender.

thumb_up thumb_down -33

Narrator: A ghost walks into a church. It is a Jewish church during a Friday night service. Huh. That ghost looks a lost like Hitler. Oh crap, everyone run for your lives! Stranger: GHOSTBUSTERS! Narrator: what, the, heck? Ghostbuster: let's kill some ghosts! Wait a minute. Adolf, is that you? Hitler ghost: John? Ghostbuster: Adolf, Buddy! Narrator:...... Hitler ghost: Hey, John! Wanna grab a drink? Ghostbuster: sure. let's get out of here. Narrator: This joke has officially lost all meaning. I don't even know why I'm submitting it any more! And get this! I AM HALF JEWISH!

thumb_up thumb_down -41

Knock knock? Who's there? To. To who? To WHOM.

thumb_up thumb_down -41

what do you call a white man surround by a bunch of black men in prison a congraulation ceromony (and gang rape) pppppppppppppppppppeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeennnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnniiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiissssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss

thumb_up thumb_down -65

What did the monkey say to the garbage collector? Eiiiiijajajaajaja EIIIIJAAAA

thumb_up thumb_down +60

What's the difference between a wire fence and a wooden fence? You can't see through a wooden fence

thumb_up thumb_down +54

I may be schizophrenic, but at least I have each other!

thumb_up thumb_down +54

What do you get when you combine Seth Rogen and Harrison Ford? A very risky and expensive medical experiment.

thumb_up thumb_down +54

What do you do when life gives you lemons? Life is an abstract object incapable of handing out gifts, thus if given a lemon by life you should go to a doctor to make sure you don't have an undiagnosed disease.

thumb_up thumb_down +48

Waiter, waiter! There is a fly in my soup. Sorry about that sir, we will replace your order and make your meal complementary.

thumb_up thumb_down +48

What has 4 eyes and can't see. Blind siamese twins!

thumb_up thumb_down +48

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops