Q:Why did the man get hit by the car? A:He was standing on the road.. ;DDD

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a mushroom walks in to a little boys party the boy says why are u here mushroom says because im a fun-guy (fungis,fungi)

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Parents: What do you want for your birthday? Boy: A yellow ping pong ball. 7th birthday P: What would you like for your birthday son? B: A yellow ping pong ball 13th birthday P: What would you like for you birthday son? B:A yellow ping pong ball. P:Hmm, fine. 17th birthday P: What would you like for your birthday son? B: A yellow ping pong ball. P: That's is I'm getting you a car! Day before 18th the boy drives into a bridge. He lies in his hospital bed and his parents are there. P: What would you like for you birthday tomorrow? B: A yellow ping pong ball. P: Fine. Why do you want these ping pong balls anyway? B: Because. And then he died.

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you: guess what somebody: what? you: you have cancer

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He was suicidal.

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Why did the redneck ask his daughter to get on her knees? His shoe was untied.

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Q:why do bananas where sunscreen? A:beacause they peel!!haha

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Chickens can not talk, therefore we can never find out from the chicken, who is the only thing that knows why it crossed the road. Scientists have study chickens and say that it most likely saw something edible, like a bug or some grain and walked over to eat it.

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Smart Blondes

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What's worse than finding your dad's wedding ring while fingering your sister ? 3 bee stings.

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Why couldn't Larry walk his dog? Larry doesn't have a dog.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. Why did the sloth fall out of the tree? Because it was holding hands with the monkey. Why were the monkey and the sloth holding hands? Because they were best friends.

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If all the world was like Jesus...wouldn't we all die on crosses?

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What is the different between a blonde and a rock? nothing.

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how many large people can you fit in a bath tub ... 1/16

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What's the difference between a catholic priest and acne? Acne waits until the boys hit puberty before coming on their face.

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Two generals went for a trip, it went very well in general.

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Two men walk into a bar. You would have thought the second one would have ducked.

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What do you call a baby in a blender? The newest Doritos dip.

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Why did the small child fall down the stairs? Because he had lung cancer was in a wheel chair and I was incredibly tempted to push him down the stairs.

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whats worse than 10 dead babies in my garage? 11 dead babies in my garage

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What's the difference between Mitt Romney and a cheese grader? How the hell should i know?

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Japan called... They need help.

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Once upon a time, a story teller used the "once upon a time" metaphor in order to tell you your parents have died in a terrible accident

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops