Why does no one we talk about Nagasaki, they got bombed too...

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When I was a kid, I had a clown at my birthday party. He molested me. Later I found out the clown was my dad.

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Q: How does 5 gay people walk together? A: In One Direction.

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What is worse than a fly in your soup? Getting hit by a train.

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How many years old is Chuck Norris? The same amount of years that it has been since he was born.

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Doorbell salesman.

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Why did Doctor Who visit Ancient Greece? Because has a time machine and has that ability

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What do you call: A black person, A white person, A mexican, A Jew, And an athiest? Whatever their names are!

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Women.

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What happens when you shoot a priest in the heart? He dies.

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Like if you like big tits.

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What did the man say after falling off a bridge? He didn't say anything. He died a painful and terrible death on impact.

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Scientist 1: "What's your research paper about?" Scientist 2: "Homosexuality in fruit bats." Scientists 3, 4 & 5: "AHAHAHAHA LOL WUT"

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What did the bartender say to the bugatti owner? "Don't drink and drive"

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What do you call a gay woman who likes to smoke cigarettes? A lesbian with a possible nicotine addiction.

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Smart Blondes

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What did Don King do with his new boxers? Put them on with a respectable pair of trousers.

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There once was a man from Peru, Who dreamed he was eating his shoe. He woke with a fright in the middle of the night, To find nothing amiss.

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What do you call a mexican working at Taco Bell? An intelligent young man who recently graduated from high school, but due to his family's lack of money, he cannot pay for college, which is one of the reason's why he is working. He also needs money becuase he has a child on the way, due to his poor choice of not using protection while having intoxicated relations with his girlfriend. I wish him the best of luck!

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A Jew and a German walk in a bar. they've accepted their peoples past and learned to move on with their lives

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What is the square root of 69? 8.30662386

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How many cows does it take to swim on land? 4.2

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Heat oven to 375°. Grease 18 regular-size muffin cups (or 12 large size muffins). In bowl, mix butter until creamy. ... Add eggs one at a time, beating after each. Beat in vanilla, baking powder and salt. With spoon, fold in half of flour then half of milk into batter; repeat. Fold in blueberries.

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I hate it when sentences don't end the way you expect them potato.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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