knock, knock! who`s there? it`s me ! who me? yes!

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Did I tell you about the day I put PaulMckenna on a hypnotic state so he believed he put me in a trance? That was fun, everybody applauded, then he got sad when it was not him they where applauding at, funny guy, a bit of an amateur, he spends hours "priming" people in a hypnotic state, and then in his videos triggers it so it makes it seem like he does it instantly, next to Igor Ledohowsky and Richard Bandler, I might just be one of the best and youngest hypnotists alive. Speaking of which, my wife knows the complicated yet strong feelings I got for you, and feels safe around me because of the same reasons you do, and the fact that I can spot a worry and a tear before people do, especially those I love and care about. Wait I am not done, I just need to eat before I space out.

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Why was the blonde crying? Because she just watched her infant get sucked into a jet engine and she was very sad.

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A guy walks into a bar and orders a water because he's the designated driver

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Q: Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? A: Because he was dead. Q: Why did the squirrel fall out of the tree? A: Because he was stapled to the monkey.

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It was just Michael J. Fox's birthday I wonder if he got in trouble for shaking his presents.

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twilight

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roses are red violets are blue i shouldnt be on this cause im in class

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What did the man say to the really attractive woman? We are different genders

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What is the different between a blonde and a rock? nothing.

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Roses are red, violets are blue and the sun is very hot

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What's invisible and smells like carrots? Rabbit farts. What's invisible and smells like rabbit farts? Carrots, if you're blind.

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a man walks into horse bar

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what happens when a jew meets a black person answer: they greet one another

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I have no ideas.

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U ALL LIAK DIK

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Child Protection Services. ...............

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Want to hear a dead baby joke? Abortion

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What call a duck with no wings? A deformity.

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what is the difference between babies and trampolines? you take your shoes off when jumping on a trampoline

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Asians are a lot like spongebob They're terrible at driving and good at karate.

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A Black man a Chinese man and a Jew walk in to a bar. Black man: nice place they got here Asian man: yeah I remember when it used to be that old hardware store Jew: Henry's, i think it was called Aisian man: must have been there for at least 10 years or so

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What's worse than a tornado that kills your whole whole family? Nothing.

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If yesterday was friday, today is saturday, what day is it tomorrow? sunday

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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