An American man and a Chinese man have a conversation. The American man asks the Chinese man after a couple of minutes of speaking, "How long have you lived in the United States?" The Chinese man replies, "I moved to the United States when I was ten years old."

thumb_up thumb_down +30

Why did the man fall over? he had a stroke.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

A horse cantered into a bar.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

Why did the Mexican push his wife off a cliff? Because after twenty long years of monotonous nagging, he finally snapped.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

What did Batman say to Robin before they got in the car? Get in the car.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

I'm a little teapot, short and stout. Here is my handle, here is my spout. When I get all steamed up here me shout: Absolutely nothing because I'm a teapot you maniacal psychopath.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

What did the black man say to the policeman? "Take it easy."

thumb_up thumb_down +28

there are 2 black guys and a spanish guy in a car. who is driving? a sober, US citizen over the age of 16

thumb_up thumb_down +28

Why is it hot outside? Because God made it so.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

GOOD AFTERNOON KIND SIR OR MADAM THIS IS THE KUNDALINI EXPRESS MAY I TAKE YOUR ORDER

thumb_up thumb_down +28

Q: what did 7 say to 11? A: weres every one else?

thumb_up thumb_down +28

a man runs into a bar and screams, he is sent to a doctor for a minor concussion and receives some stitches. He recovers over time and gets on with his life.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

Johan showering. . . AWK

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Why did the rapist go to the girl's dorm? He wanted to apologise for his crimes, and brought them all a drink. It was spiked, he raped them

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Why did the man have blood on his finger? Because he popped a pimple

thumb_up thumb_down +26

What do you call a clock with no hands? Broken.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Why did the mushroom go to the party? Because he was a fungi.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? -death -kidney failure -gall stones -getting in an automobile accident -getting struck by lightning -getting sodomized -embezzlement -deception -HIV/AIDS -illness of any nature -world hunger -the holocaust -Zimbabwe's economy -getting hit by a train -getting hit by a bus -the hives -getting bit by an alligator -head injuries -being arrested -childhood obesity -sexual predators -highly impoverished areas -losing a finger -getting hit with a bat -corruption -general rudeness -being lost in the woods -contracting a sexually transmitted virus -teen pregnancy -murder -rape -robbery -going blind -losing a child -falling down a well -bestiality -identity fraud -massacres -racism -genocide -mental disabilities in children -bullying -food poisoning -stepping on a nail -eugenics -the mass murder, rape, and theft of the land from the Native people of America -forced assimilation -slavery -brain deteriorating illness -matricide -prostitution - accidentally repeating yourself -prostitution -domestic violence -animal cruelty -pollution -deforestation -global warming -losing your life savings -still birth -oppressive leaders -physical conflicts -world wars and other military conflict -the situation in Rwanda -Inequality in treatment of women in middle eastern countries -auto theft -tax evasion -terrorism -being diagnosed with cancer -clinical depression -prostitution -finding two worms in your apple

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Why was the black man a victim of racial prejudice? because he was black

thumb_up thumb_down +26

what did the train say to the other train choo chooo

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Where's my tractor?

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Obamacare haters

thumb_up thumb_down +26

whats worse than a paper cut? 2012

thumb_up thumb_down +24

knock knock whos there? the police, your under arrest

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops