How many dead babies can fit in a bathtub. Twelve. A previous joke said seventeen, that person had their facts wrong. I know from experience

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Doctor doctor, I came here as quickly as possible, it was just the nearest place I could find. My dog he... he's panting and bleeding and I don't know what to do I think he's dying and I just want him to hold on... Please... Well then go to a vet you stupid shit.

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Why wasn't the boy at his basketball game? - Because he, his twin brother, and pregnant mother all died in a fatal car accident involving a train on the way their.

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What's longer then Hitlers gas bill Chris Browns Penis

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A- Knock Knock B- Who's there? A- Soccer!

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"Hell nahhh I called shotgun" -Rosa Parks

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No, but it was a nice chance to pretend to, that was the scheme part I might have mentioned, people never figure out that you are fucking them over at the present, if you tell them you fucked them off in the past, they start thinking backwards, often ignoring those tiny details straight in front of them. Listen, call me a bit paranoid, but who the hell is Septimus and AzureDragon or whatever the fuck his little geek name was?

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How many potatoes does it take to kill an Irishman? None.

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Why did Adele suck the doctors dick? LOL, did you think the doctor really got her to open her mouth all the time so he could "look at her sick throat"

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What happen to the guy who didn't breathe A. He died

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What's worse than genital warts? Herpes. You can get rid of warts

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Yeah, I assumed so, but I got kinda worried at the same time. Huh... The catchthing says trolololol, no coincidence at all huh? Anyway, take that last comment Nero, I am spent.

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I ate high protein foods and now my flatulence smells wrank.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? The Gestapo.

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What's worse than a stain on your carpet? Two stains on your carpet

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Fire extinguishers are sexy.

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Why did Martin go to school with no pants on? Because he had no legs.

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Your mother is so old that her prom theme was fire

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A man from China is learning English and when confronted by a cop accidentally answers each question with one of the few words he knows, impugning himself in the process. The cop, not being a sociopath, realizes that the chuckling foreigner probably has no idea what he has just done and hands him a dictionary to help him cope with the drastic change.

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What's the difference between peanut butter and jelly ? Among many things, one is made with peanut butter, the other with fruits.

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why am i on this site? cause its funny

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How do you scare a 5 year old girl? Stick your dick out.

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Roses are red Violets are fin I'll be the 6 You be the 9

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what do you call a muslim flying a plane? A pilot you racist.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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