Want to hear a joke about my penis? Nevermind it's too long.

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What about all the bullshit comments? The spamming?

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How did Danny break his bike? No one really knows. The best probable guess who be a tree fell on it, because Danny and his bike were found under a fallen tree.

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What doesn't have opposable thumbs, barks at the mail man, eats dog food, and is good at every sport? Air bud

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Steve: Hey ask me if Im a Pelican. Bob: Are you a pelican? Steve: YES.

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say iphone 5 times then look under your pillow ...nothings there

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what do you call an overweight 80 year old white man trying to be a pimp ? Mr.Fredrickson

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What do you call a Mexican baptism? A blessed occasion.

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What did the baby say to its mother after breastfeeding? Nothing

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man: honey im home woman: john im pregnant man: but i have a low sperm count! this is a miracle! woman: its not your baby its steves from the store man:but he's mexican! woman: i know.....i need an abortion. {lol racism}

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there were 2 sausages in a frying pan. One sausage says it sure is hot in here. The other one says WTF a talking sausage!

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't. It got hit by a bus.

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There were two muffins in an oven one muffin said, "Is it hot in here or is it just me?" the other muffin said, "AHHH A TALKING MUFFIN!"

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Potato.

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Two men walk into a bar. The third one ducks.

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Why was the panda sad? It's family died when China had an earthquake.

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Q: If Jack Bauer is partially gay, then what are you? A: His sidekick -Ryan Vallee

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Knock knock! Who's there? This. This who? This joke.

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A dentist, a librarian, a construction worker, a gynecologist, a zookeeper, a shoemaker, a terrorist, a politician, a cyclist, a truck driver, a kangaroo, a Mexican, a blonde, a Jewish black guy, a Honda Civic, a monkey, a penguin, an FBI agent, a stock broker, a president of a foreign country, a CEO of a very wealthy company regarding AIDS, a founder of one of top downloaded apps in the market, a chief executive, a cook, a waitress, a priest, a nun, a little boy, a fairy, a dinosaur, and a skeleton walks into a bar. There's no punchline.

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A little boy started choking on a condom. His father came and was in a great panic. "Please don't leave me. I don't want to lose you!" he cried over and over again. Then his wife came in and said "it's alright darling, there's plenty more in the drawer". "Oh, thank God for that, I thought I lost it there!" dad replied.

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How many Amish people does it take to change a light bulb? None because they don't believe in technology.

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Yo momma is so fat, I gave her a cupcake and she enjoyed it.

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Frog-why did the chicken cross the road Chicken-dont judge me...

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What did Tim play with his friends? Nothing. He has no friends.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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