When Life gives you lemons... Squeeze the juice right back into Life's eyes!

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peter charastabopouloulous

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So a magician was driving down the road and then he turned into a driveway!

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How many rabbits does it take to screw in a light buld? None, it is scientifically impossible for a rabbit to climb a ladder and screw in a light bulb.

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Roses are black, Violets are black, Everything is black, And I'm blind.

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A traveler gets a flat tire on an old farm road. He goes to the door of the neasrest farm and knocks. The farmer and his beautiful 21 year old daughter answer the door. Traveler: "I'm sorry, but I have a flat. Is there any place I can stay until I get it repaired?" Farmer: "Why yes. Our church sponsors a homeless shelter and rehab center down the road.I can give you a ride there if you like?"

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A man is cheating on his wife. His wife finds out and is instantly distressed and begins to cry.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Refrigerators come in an assortment of colors

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How do you keep someone in suspense? I'll tell you tomorrow.

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Are you a human?

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Im going to france... Why To get french fries! Have fun Im back with a $10000bill to pay Wheres the fries Shit

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what do you get when a bear and a man mix a really pissed off bear and a dead man

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Q: Wanna hear a dirty joke? A: Your mother sucks.

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What's the difference between a catcher's mitt and Lou Ferrigno? If you seriously said "I don't know, what?" I suggest getting a medical examination by a professional psychologist.

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What has two feet and cant walk? a cripple

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How does a plumber cross the street? Using his legs

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What did the doctor say to the patient? You have cancer.

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What did little Jimmy say when he saw a group of dancing blue penguins dressed as cannibal clowns with saucers on their head ? "What the f*ck"

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What do you do when you see Godzilla? You offer him ice cream.

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Q: How do you wake up Lady Gaga A: You pokerface

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knock knock who's there?

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Q: Why was the blonde in a black car? A: Becasue the car was a herse and she was killed a week before in an accident where the other driver was drunk Becasue his wife had left him with no money and no kids to come home to.

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Tom buys his wife Mary the latest Eco friendly car. The car is said to get well over 100 miles on a tank of gas. A week later, Tom is stunned to learn that while Mary was driving to the supermarket the car ran out of gas. The tank was full and Mary only drove 5 miles. How is this possible? Mary was involved in a horrible car accident. The gas tank immediately emptied and set fire to Mary and her baby.

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Patients: Whats happening doctor Doctor: I am afraid you all have tested positive Patients: Oh No!!! Doctor: Positive for being great friends all these years! Patients: Oh Doctor you are so.... Doctor: ASWELL AS AIDS!!!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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