what did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Where's my tractor?

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A Frenchman an Italian and an American were setting in a bar drinking and talking. The Frenchman said he made love to his wife five times last night. She said if I died she would never get married again. The Italian said said he made love to his wife ten times last night and that she said if he ever died she would kill her self. They asked the American how many times he made love to his wife last night. He said I'm a widower. She died in the 9/11 attacks.

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so one day i was getting my daughter artemisia ready for school and so i came in her room and got her pants and so i put it on and then i said did you grow during the summer really did you and then she said daddy both of my feet are stuck on one side of the leg

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What do you get when an elephant and a penguin have a baby? Dunno, it's seems highly improbable.

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If a wheel falls off a bus whilst travelling down a river, how long does it take to shingle a doghouse? None, because there are no bones in cottage cheese.

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Get your coat, I've got a knife.

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You just won the game...

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What happened to the man that took too much viagra? His erection lasted longer than 4 hours, he's dead now

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Q: What's the difference between a basket of tennis balls and a basket of dead baby heads? A: One is used for the sport of tennis the other is a basket of tennis balls!

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What do you call a bunch of Mexicans on fire? Jumping Beans.

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If push pops give life a push, Then isn't your mailbox purple?

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What's red and invisible? No tomatoes.

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whats blue, saggy, moldy and smelly? Will Nealis' Vagina

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A man is lonely and calls a hooker. She goes to his house, pleasures him, and then demands 42 million dollars. The man shoots the whore and throws her body into a river.

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Why did the black guy only turn left? Because he was mentally retarded and couldn't tell left from right and had no idea where he was going

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What's pink, wrinkly and hangs out your trousers? Your nan.

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how many rapists does it take to screw a lightbulb?

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"why did the chicken cross the road?" "to get to your house" "knock knock" "who's there?" "The chicken"

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hey what are you eating there? a giant scorpion that tried to rape me.

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Ask me if I am a bus. Are you a bus? No.

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Why can't Helen Keller drive a car? She's dead.

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Do you know what the cop said to the black guy? Your free to go

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Do Minnesotans have accents? Oh ya, you betchya.

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How do you save someones life? Do not kill them.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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