(speaking to an orphan) knock, knock who's there not your parents

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5

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Excuse me, do you happen to have the time? No.

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I can't remember if I have Azheimer's or not.

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What is big, red, and beats rocks? A big, red, rock beater.

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Why did the dog bark at the tall white man? Because the tall white man was in the process of attempting to rob the house in which said dog was situated. The dog was merely defending its patch.

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What do you call a black man with a hoe? A farmer.

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Have you seen Stevie Wonders new home? No. Neither has he....

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Your mom's so fat that she went in to get liposuction and subsequently died from infection.

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What three letters alter boys into men and girls into women? The letter containing their bank card, the letter containing their national insurance card and the letter accepting them into a job or higher education placement.

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a man walked up to me and said someone is dying with long terminal cancer i said who? man replies your cat. i replied i don't have a cat. man says whoops wrong person

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what do you call a muslim flying a plane? A pilot you racist.

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9001

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What do Elephants never forget? 9/11

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what happened the magic tractor?..... it turned into a field

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What do you call two Mexicans playing basketball? A bad decision because soccer is in their blood

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A scotsmen, an Irishman and an Englishman all walk into a bar. The publican had accidentally left the door unlocked and the bar was in fact closed. So they left.

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A black guy walks into a shoe store and buys a pair of size 14 shoes. The cashier smiles and says: so is it true what they say about big feet? The black guy laughs for a moment and responds: yeah it's really hard to find socks that fit.

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Thomas the Tank Engine could see Express up ahead on the tracks! His driver shut off steam and applied his brakes. Ahead of him Gordon groaned "Ohhhhh stop your train! Stop your train! His driver and fireman jumped out quickly. Thomas tried his very hardest and eventually found himself slowing down. But there wasn't enough time and Thomas smashed right into the express. Seven people were killed and Thomas himself was smashed to pieces.

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what did the american say to the other american? get out of the way i gotta go to mcdonalds!

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Why can't Sean slam dunk cos he has no arms -•#21

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, WTF is this, i gotta take a piss.

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Q:What is the differenc between batman and a black man? A: Batman can go out in the night with out robin

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What did the one bagpiper say to the other? Nothing, one cannot speak while playing the bagpipes.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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