A man walks into a bar, and orders a drink. He reaches into his back pocket, but cannot find his wallet. The man was pick pocketed by a skilled thief on his walk to the bar. The man quickly makes calls to cancel his credit cards and minimize the financial loss.

Jack was nimble, Jack was quick, Jack sat on his candle, and burnt his ass.

What's the difference between a dead baby and a Ferrarri? A dead baby is a non-living human, while a Ferrarri is a brand of car.

I enjoy anal.

Why was the firefighter carrying a hot girl? Because her house was on fire.

Knock knock. Who is it? The police officer. ok, im not home.

What do you get when you have sex with a $10 prostitute? Nothing, she's clean. She may be low-scale, but she'll be damned if she's not careful.

So a magician was driving down the road and then he turned into a driveway!

Q: Why was the bacteria afraid of the sanitizer? A: Because hand sanitizers are made up of ethyl alcohol, inactive additives such as water, other alcohols and fragrances. Ethyl alcohol is the active ingredient in hand sanitizer and is designed to kill germs.

A traveler gets a flat tire on an old farm road. He goes to the door of the neasrest farm and knocks. The farmer and his beautiful 21 year old daughter answer the door. Traveler: "I'm sorry, but I have a flat. Is there any place I can stay until I get it repaired?" Farmer: "Why yes. Our church sponsors a homeless shelter and rehab center down the road.I can give you a ride there if you like?"

why is 6 afraid of 7 ? because 7 is black.

A turkey and a ham walk into a room. The ham says to the turkey "You're a turkey." The turkey in response says, "Yeah, well you're a ham!" They both then get their heads chopped off, as the room they were in was a slaughterhouse.

A physician, an engineer, and an attorney were discussing who among them belonged to the oldest of the three professions represented. But neither one of them knew.

Do you have a curfew? No its saturday!

Why couldn't the kid get into the pirate movie? Tickets were sold out.

Q. Why did the chicken cross the road? A. To get hit by a car

My Japanese girlfriend just broke up with me. It's okay, there's more of them in the sea.

Yo mama's so fat that she took a look at her life and realized she wanted a change so she joined a dieting group and started eating better and exercising more and she got down to her goal weight and now looks and feels better than ever it's very inspirational, good for her.

What did the girl with no hands get? Gloves.

You should never talk to strangers.

What did the one lawyer say to the other lawyer? We are both lawyers!!

e4ryka mcgyuire rode stephanie sinnott

Knock Knock . . . I'm coming in!

The Sentence Below is True The Sentence Above is False

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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