A ninja walks into a bar the bartender asks "what would you like?" The ninja says "i'll have two green eyes" the bartender says "we dont have green eyes this is america" so the ninja is so mad that he goes home and brutally beats his wife with a spatula.

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What did the white guy say to the black guy wearing a black T-shirt? That's a very nice shirt.

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There was a peice of lasagna. He knew he tasted great. So he constantly feared for his life.

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What do you call a fat ethiopian. Impossible

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Doorbell salesman.

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what happens during a climax apples

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Two men walked into a bar. The third transformed into a duck and flew away.

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How do you kill a blonde? you shoot her.

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Yo mama's so fat she couldn't ride on roller coasters with you in Disney world. Sometimes you wish you could share more fond memories with her.

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Why the girl fell from the swing? cause she had no arms

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Q-What happened to the kid who thought he could fly A-his head exploded while he was sitting in a microwave

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Why did the black guy cross the road? To save the endangered child from getting hit by a car across the street.

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? Because she didn't have arms. Knock. Knock. Who's there? Not Sally.

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What do you say when you take a nasty shit in you friends bathroom? There's some nasty shit in there.

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What is a man with no arms and no legs on a pile of leaves? A quadriplegic who enjoys the fall.

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Q: What is a duck's favorite thing to smoke? A: Quack

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A guy walks into a bar. The universe instantly shatters around him under the weight of infinite potential punchlines. He tumbles through the void amongst the shards of his broken reality. This is the worst joke ever.

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Roses are Red Violets are Blue Im Really Stoned And you have met with a terrible fate haven't you?

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what do you call a kid without arms and legs? names

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Person 1: Eric is in the hospital! I think it was those depression pills. Person 2: What did he overdose? Person 3: No he just took to much.

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Why did the lion go to the doctor? He was hungry for man flesh. -John R-

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What did Tim play with his friends? Nothing. He has no friends.

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Why can't santa fit down a chimney? No one can

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And now, A cow pretending to be a man: Jeff: Alan, are you a cow? Alan: What?! No! Cow: Yah me neither you guys want to go skatebords? *Awkward*

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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