What did Tim play with his friends? Nothing. He has no friends.

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Q: How do you get a one armed blond of of a tree? A: You grab a ladder and help her down safely.

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What do you call a former pope. Dead!

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I see London, I see France, I am in an airplane on my way to Europe.

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How many jews can you fit in a car? That depends on the volume of the car and the size of the people involved - different cars are of different sizes and can fit a different number of people. For instance, you could probably fit more than 20 midget jews in a van but you could probably not fit as many overweight jews in a coupé. However if you put some effort into getting as many standard sized people, in this case jews for reasons unknown, into a standard size sedan you should be able to fit about seven or eight in the car itself and one in the trunk, making a total of nine or ten.

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Yo momma is so ugly, she might not win the "America's next top model" contest.

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What do you call an indian who is underwater? A scuba diver.

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How do you determine the population of mexico? Send out a census every 4 years.

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A plane carrying an Englishman, an Irishman, and a Scotsman is destined to crash unless some weight is lost. First they drop the spare engine, but there is still too much weight. Then they drop the luggage, but still there is too much weight. All three men then jump out. The plane crashes anyway.

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Knock Knock! Who's there? So. So who? Cares.

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Why did Timmy stop running? He got hit by a bus

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How many cops does it take to change a lightbulb? 1

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WNBA

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ONE DAY THE SKY OPENS AND SUDDENLY Gad: Jews, you are my chosen people! Jews: YAY! GODS CHOSEN! WE ARE GONNA BATHE IN RICHES AND YOU WILL COMMAND US TO RAID AND RAPE LANDS! FOR OURSELVES! AND EVERYTHING! Gad: Eh... Well, actually I was thinking more like... Jews: YAY WE ARE GONNA CONQUER THE WORLD! GAD IS WITH US NAO! Right Gay? I mean Gad... Cough... Gad: Err, well *cough* suuure, I mean... Jews: YAY! WE ARE GADS CHOSEN! WE ARE GONNA GET MIGHTY! Moral: "You do not want to be "Gods chosen" people!" Btw, you telling me Jewsus was not a Jew? Hmm?

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Why should people with Alzheimer's not tell jokes? .......................................................................................................................................... SEVEN EIGHT NINE!!!!!

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Why do you always loose your keys at monster truck rally's? Most likely because they fell out during all the excitement of jumping up and down, but the real reason is because they are afraid of monster cars.

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A: Knock Knock! B: Come in!

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Roses are red, Violets are pencil, this poem makes no sense, refrigerator

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If yesterday was friday, today is saturday, what day is it tomorrow? sunday

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Going for the Dislike record woot I farted!

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obama leadership

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What's the difference between 10 dead babies and a red sports car? A red sports car was never a living organism.

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what do you get when you combine a cat and a dog? nothing since it is impossible to combine a cat and a dog

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what did the turkey say on thanks giving? Nothing, he's dead, we ate him!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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