What did the girl with no arms get for Christmas? Mittens

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Roses are red, violets are blue, I have Alzheimer's, sauce on apples.

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There was a blonde, a brunette, and a redhead. They were all of equal intelligence.

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Waiter! What's this fly doing in my soup? It isn't doing anything, sir. It's dead.

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Where does lady gags buy her bran flakes ? Sainsburys

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Q) How many blondes does it take to screw in a light bulb? A) It shouldn't take more than one person to do this task, regardless of hair color.

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is your refrigerator running? yeah oh, ok. just making sure your food doesn't spoil

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A young man read a book. He then went back to the library to return the book, but got killed in a car crash on the way there.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was stapled to the first monkey. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Peer pressure. why did the refridgerator fall out of the tree? Because it wanted to be a monkey? Why did the John fall out of the tree? Because he has no arms and legs because he suffers from a severe case of lepracy. Why did Timmy fall off his bike? Because he got hit by three monkeys, a fridge and a boy with no limbs.

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what do you call a guy that has a mouth, but cannot speak? a poor freshman who has been commanded by a Senior not to speak.

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anti jokes

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What do you call a middle eastern man flying a plane?? A pilot.

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Knock knock Whoes there? ...

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What did the black man say to the other black man. We're both niggas.

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why did the chicken cross the road? -----it didnt

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What do you call the alarm system in a failing inner-city school? A dumbbell!

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Why did the black person got to Wal-mart? Wal-mart has relatively low prices

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poop

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A guy went to a haunted house on Friday the thirteenth… it gave him a small fright and he continued on with his day

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Christians pornstars.

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Knock knock Who's there? Doug I'm sorry Doug, I cannot answer the door, as I am a parrot well trained in English. But am locked in a cage.

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What happened when the joke was bad? crippled up like cancer of the eye

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what's faster than an asian on a bicylce on payday? many things

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Whats a dwarf running A running dwarf

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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