- Anti Joke

A man walks into a doctors office. The doctor says "I've got good news and bad news. Which do you want to hear first?" The man responds "I'd like to hear the good news." The doctor says "I ran a series of tests and found you have leukemia, but your insurance covered everything." The man hangs his head and tears up as he asks "What's the bad news?" The doctor heads for the door as he answers "Your company is switching to a private insurer and because of your pre-existing condition you're being denied coverage. None of your future treatments or appointments will be paid for." The man snaps his fingers and says "I should've voted Democrat!"

There was an Englishman, an Irishman and a chest of drawers. The Englishman put a flask of coffee in the top drawer without even looking. Diane hates wrestling.

What do you call a black man riding a bike? Alan. He's studying environmental engineering at NYU.

An owl turns to the other owl. He has to, he can't move his eyes.

Hearpin my durp

Why is it hot outside? Because God made it so.

What do you call a black man working for Bank of America? A successful individual.

knock knock whos there? the police, your under arrest

Q:If pigs ever played basketball, then what sound would they make? A:Oink-oink

I see London, I see France, I am in an airplane on my way to Europe.

Justin Bieber walked into a gay-bar, The whole world applauded.

How do you kill half the population of Mexico? A preemptive nuclear strike.

Steve,Jerry and tom all go into the mens toilets, because they are men.

why did the kid get chemotherapy? because he had cancer

An Octopus walks into a bar and sees that there are multiple people with instruments. The man with the Guitar says "I bet you cant play the Guitar better than Led Zeplin?" So the Octopus plays and he is better than Led Zeplin. Then the man with the Piano says "I bet you can't play the piano better than Elton John?" So the Octopus Plays it better than Elton John. The Last man from Scotland says " i bet you can't plat the bagpipes better than me?" So... The Octopus is playing around with the Bagpipes and they say to him "Hurry Up!" and the Octopus says "Shut up, I'm trying to have sex with it but first I need to get it's pajamas off" (Bagpipes have 8 long things you blow into and they have a pattern that looks like a pajama pattern) hahaha

A man is on an operating table. His heart stops beating and he suddenly finds himself at the Gates of Heaven. St. Peter approaches him. "Welcome, my son," St. Peter says. "I can't believe it," the man exclaims, "I've died and gone to Heaven! I-" St. Peter interrupts him. "Not quite yet, my son. You must first answer three questions. You will only enter Heaven if I deem you fit to do so." The man nervously agrees. "All right. First question," St. Peter says. "Did you ever commit a sin and never sought forgiveness?" The man thinks long and hard. "No, I always made sure to apologize." "Splendid," St. Peter responds. "Did you attend church every Sunday?" The man loses some of his former confidence. "I may have missed the odd week." "That's fine," says St. Peter. "One last question... Do you believe you are worthy of entering the Gates of Heaven?" The man answers nervously, "Well... yes, yes I do." St. Peter smiles. "Congratulations, my son. You have passed the test, and may enter Heaven!" The man is ecstatic as the pearly gates open up for him. He enters Heaven and is astounded by its magnificent beauty. The man then loses all brain function and dies on the operating table.

what do you call a middle eastern man on a plane? a passenger.

Your mother is so fat........... that she is morbidly obese and is at severe risk for diabetes and other weight related diseases.

Why was the black man escorted out of the bar. He was 10

Q. Why was the dad sad? A.His favorite team lost in the championship.

Its true, he didnt write that!!

whats worse than your computer crashing? your plane crashing...twice

Did you know Hellen Keller had a swing set? No? Well neither did she.

Why was Bill in jail? He stabbed 17 black people because they didn't deserve welfare checks.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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