A woman is walking down the street. A midget approaches her and with his keen sense of smell, informs the tall woman of her delicious scent and says, "Ma'am your hair smells lovely, may I please take a closer sniff?" Then woman obliges and the midget is arrested for alleged rape, or as he put it, trying to sniff her vagina.

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What's the difference between 10 dead babies and a red sports car? A red sports car was never a living organism.

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Q: why id the bird fly away from the boy? A: cuz he was scared

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What's worse than your family dying in a fire? Nothing, that really sucks.

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What does ms colot like to eat? Pants

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What's red and smells like green paint? The rotting corpse of the old lady I poisoned with green paint.

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How do you confuse a black man? Paint him white.

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whats gayer than 2 homosexuals? 3 homosexuals.

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What is yellow and has thick, shiny fur? A banana. I lied about the fur.

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women outside of the kitchen

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What's yellow and if it gets in your eye, you'll die? a yellow train.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? The Holocaust.

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Friends are like pickles. If you eat them, they die.

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- Knock knock - Those knock jokes are getting old - Indeed. Scratch scratch - MY DOOR

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Potato

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There's 2 cows, one says to the other "What do you think of Mad Cow Disease?" The other says, "I don't care I'm a helicopter"

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Why you so fat... Because you have an eating problem fatass...

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It was running from its imminent death. It was being chased by a dog with a shark's head and chainsaws for legs. It was only delaying the inevitable.

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Three blokes walk into a bar. I'm british.

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How many licks does it take to got to the Tootsie Roll center of a Tootsie Pop? 357

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There were three people on a plane, the plane crashed and they all died.

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What's worse than finding Michael V. in your class? Finding Curtis W. in there instead\

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Hey I had a wet and dirty dream about you last night. Really? What happened? You got hit by a bus and I pissed myself laughing. .......

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How do you get a clown off a swing? You hit him with an axe How can you release your anger at somebody? Kill them How do you stop a bus? Throw small children at it

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops