An eyeball walks into a bar and the bartender asks him what he would like. The bartender promptly wakes up in jail because he was caught having a meth lab in his basement.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

William Wright. 8 perry street Answer-Gay

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Why did the girl jump? Because she was on a trampoline.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Spinabifita

thumb_up thumb_down +22

I walked down the street. I picked up a quarter. It was shiny. Then I walked to school. I finished school, so I walked home, did my homework, and went to bed. Lesson learned: quadratic formula

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Your mama so fat she is physically larger than other people.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

why was your family so sad? because you died due to your uncle's son's cousin urinating all over you as a baby causing you to sting yourself continually. did i mention you were born as a scorpion while your family members were all human beings making them neglect and throw you away in their trash when you would always climb out. your family secretly hid affection for you. back to the beginning. when you died everyone in the whole world except bill cosby got cancer at the exact moment you died, but years later (because bill cosby is immortal), he got down syndrome after everyone who was alive during your death died. that is why he goes doo dop bip babbity today.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

hey

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Where did Sally go when the bomb hit her? All over. Knock knock Who's there? Not Sally

thumb_up thumb_down +20

When crossing the river, why the old lady die? She was hit by a falling brick that fell from an airplane.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Botanically speaking, cheese can't fry bagels.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Why was 6 afriad of 7? Because 7 is a rapist.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

A horse walk into the bar, the bar tender asked, why the long face the horse unable to understand English takes a shit and walk away.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

I've done a lot of soul searching, and.... I've realized.... the & symbol really looks like a man dragging his butt on the ground.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

How did the mermaid break her arm? She fell out of a tree.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a fish.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

O: How do you kill a black man? A: Shoot him

thumb_up thumb_down +20

What is the answer to number 7 on the test? Time for you to get a watch.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Knock Knock Who's There Santa Santa Who? I stole your dog.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Why did the jew pick up the unicorn lying on the sidewalk? Because he dropped it.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Why do women hate getting shot? They die.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Knock, knock. Who's there? Suzie. How is that even possible?

thumb_up thumb_down +20

How do you confuse a black man? Paint him white.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

What's red and smells like green paint? The rotting corpse of the old lady I poisoned with green paint.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops