What's the difference between dead babies and Christmas lights? I don't have Christmas lights hanging on my Christmas tree...

thumb_up thumb_down +23

A man walked into a bar. He ended up in the hospital being treated for a concussion.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

How do white people screw in light bulbs? They read a manual.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

What's Brown and sticky? A stick!

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Let's see how many dislikes this can get!

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Why did the Mexicans climb the fence? They were tossing frisbee and accidentally threw it into their neighbors yard.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Your mother is so old that she is dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

What do the holocaust and 9/11 have in common? They were both terrible tragedies that people will look back upon in sadness for years.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Q: What did one candle say to the other? A: Nothing, the mere thought of candles being able to possess the ability of speech is preposterous beyond any of the highest capabilities known to man.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

What happened to the man that took too much viagra? His erection lasted longer than 4 hours, he's dead now

thumb_up thumb_down +21

What number comes after 29? 30.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

If there are 500 bricks in an airplane and one falls out how many are there in he plane? 499. Name 3 steps to get a Elephant in a fridge. 1. Open the fridge 2. Put the Elephant in the fridge 3. Close the fridge Name 4 steps to get an Deer in a fridge. 1. Open the fridge 2.Take the Elephant out of the fridge 3. Put the Deer in the fridge 4. Close the fridge The Lion King is having a birthday party. Every animal came, besides one. Who was it? The Deer. Because hes trapped in the Fridge. The Deer manages to escape the fridge, and hes running late. he encounters Crocodile lake. How will he cross it? He will swim through it because the Crocodiles are at the Lion Kings birthday. Then suddenly, The Deer dies. How? The Brick hit him.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Asians are a lot like spongebob They're terrible at driving and good at karate.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Why did the man climb the mountain? Because he lacked excitement in his life.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

What do you call a mexican riding a lawnmower? Promoted

thumb_up thumb_down +21

verry nice how mUCH?

thumb_up thumb_down +19

joe diragi makes paul look straight

thumb_up thumb_down +19

What did the homeless man get for Christmas? Frost bite.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Oh. So his name's Brandon.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

What did the passive-aggressive woman do to her husband? She killed him. As it turns out, the slight passive-aggressive behavior she was showing was actually an early warning sign of a dangerous sociopathic mental disorder. The authorities are looking for her as we speak.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Dave: Hey, Doug! How was your day? Doug: My mother is dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Two women were sitting together, quietly.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

How do you wake up your friend in a reasonable manor? you beat the shit out of him

thumb_up thumb_down +19

why was little johns' stomach in discomfort? because his mom accidently gave him mercury for breakfast

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops