Whats the worse than dieing of cancer, dieing alone and having AIDS

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yo mama so fat that the doctor asked for her weight not her phone number!

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A guy walks into a bar. Yep.. that's it.

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A black guy, an asian guy, and a white guy jump off a cliff, who lands first? Well, newton's first law states that every massive particle in the universe attracts every other massive particle with a force that is directly proportional to the product of their masses and inversely proportional to the square of the distance between them. So it depends on who weighs the most.

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What do you call the alarm system in a failing inner-city school? A dumbbell!

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A black man walks into a store and grabs something off of a shelf. He walks briskly towards the door and pauses, looking sneakily left and right to make sure nobody else is around. He also looks and sees that the security camera is not facing him. Seeing as nobody is watching him, he quickly turns towards the counter beside the door and pays for the item with his own debit card, knowing that nobody can see him enter his PIN.

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What happened when your mom closed the blinds? You.

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what do you call three kkk guys in your house ghost busters

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How is a white orphan like a black baby? Neither are sure who their parents are :(

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A mama cow was sitting in the barn with her 3 babies. The first baby cow goes "Mom, why did you name me Daisy?" "Because a Daisy landed on your head when you were born" The second calf goes "Mom, why did you name me Rose?" "Because a Rose petal landed on your head when you where born." The third calf says "Aasdfghoiuytfghjkuiy" The mom replies "Shut up brick"

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What did the man do when he walked into the gym? Died of a brain aneurysm.

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knock knock who's there? a murder who? a murder who kills you and your family.

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Why did the womens basketball team beat the mens? the men were locked in a refrigerator

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Halo < COD

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Why does no one we talk about Nagasaki, they got bombed too...

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Why did the mother have a club in her hands covered with red liquid? She spilled her bloody murry while playing golf.

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That awkward moment when the moment is awkward.

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Yo' Mama so nice that she donated a kidney and saved a life

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Two cougars are at a nightclub. Suddenly, they attack and 8 patrons are mauled to death.

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What did the priest say to the rabbi? "Hey Joe, how's the family?"

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How many times have I told you not to do that? Fourteen.

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A completely inebriated man walked into a bar and, after staring for some time at the only woman seated at the bar, walked over to her, placed his hand up her skirt and began fondling her. She jumped up and slapped him silly. He immediately apologized and explained, "I'm sorry. I thought you were my wife. You look exactly like her." "Why you drunken, worthless, insufferable son of a BITCH!" she screamed. "Funny," he muttered, "you even sound exactly like her."

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there were 2 sausages in a frying pan. One sausage says it sure is hot in here. The other one says WTF a talking sausage!

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Q: what's red and goes up and down? A: a tomato in an elevator

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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