A man and two women walk into the a house. When they leave out come 2 babies with them. What happened in that house? They were babysitting.

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You are what you eat, so... Can we not talk about this? Cause for me it's recently been sort of sexual. ... How can it be ?.... Ohhhh, dude, that's disgusting...

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Asians are a lot like spongebob They're terrible at driving and good at karate.

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Why did the zombie go to school? Zombies do not exist and certainly do not go to school.

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What did the baby get for its 1st birthday? Nothing it was aborted.

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yfygcugyuyc

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When life hands you lemons... do not squeeze them, for juice may squirt into your eye, causing severe pain.

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Mindfuck: They call you a patient where medics are because they do not want you to become impatient. The Coronel is the Kernel of the army (coronel sounds a lot like coronel no?) Sergeant = Sir gent. as in Sir gentle(man) Ok, so if you experience insanity one day, does that make you insane forever? In that case I was born and will die hungry and thirsty. Sigmund Freud= Sickman fraud. General: The guy you should generally listen to if you are in the army. 3.14 ratebay = PIRATE BAY! Why is Satan the antichrist, humans killed him :P Satan only "tempted his thirsty brother with water at the desert" Jesus showed real power by saying "NO WATER WHEN I AM THIRSTY IS BAD FROM MY BROTHER!"

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A girl asked a guy if he thought she was pretty, He said 'No'. She asked him if he would want to be with her forever. He said 'no'. She then asked him if she were to leave would he cry, Once again, he replied 'no'. She had heard enough. As she walked away, tears streaming down her face the boy grabbed her arm and said.. 'Asking emotionally charged hypothetical questions that are completely irrelevant to the prior conversation is known as fishing for compliments. Except, your tears seem to reflect a more serious inner emotional neediness. I suggest you seek a psychologist.'

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Nobody doesn't like Sarah Lee. There are no humans, at all, anywhere in the world, who do not like Sarah Lee. None. Not even one. They do not exist in reality. Everyone likes Sarah Lee. Everyone.

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whats better then 10 babies nailed to 1 tree... 1 baby nailed to 10 trees!

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A Chinese man walked into a bar. He now has a minor concussion.

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Q: What was the little boy doing in the deep end of the swimming pool? A: Drowning.

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Roses are red, Violets are red, Trees are red, HOLY SHIT MY GARDEN'S ON FIRE

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Robert supra not deep throwing kaleb law wrench

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How did the black man get to work this morning? He didn't. He had been struggling with depression and finally this morning, he committed suicide.

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joe diragi makes paul look straight

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What's worse than your family dying in a fire? Nothing, that really sucks.

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Your mama so fat she is physically larger than other people.

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Roses are grey, Violets are grey. I'm colour blind, It's a very depressing situation.

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Why was there two girls at the movie? They wanted to see the movie together.

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The world's smartest man walks into a bar. And he orders the best most reasonably priced drink.

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why did the baby die because it was diagnosed with lukimia

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Have you seen Stevie Wonder's new house? Neither has he, he's blind.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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