One day i had to piss. I went to the bathroom.

What is the greatest anti-joke ever told? I had it right here, but I lost it when I was being raped by a Triceratops.

What's the most offensive joke you've ever heard? EVENTS: The Black Plague The 2004 Indian Ocean Earthquake and Tsunami The Sandy Hook Elementary Massacre Space Shuttle Columbia The Boston Bombing The Enron Scandal The Great Depression Hurricane Katrina The Iraq War Krakatoa Mt. Vesuvius September 11 2001 The sinking of the Titanic World War I and II PEOPLE: Adolf Hitler Al Capone Attila the Hun Ariel Castro Blackbeard Caligula Charles Manson Ed Gein Elizabeth Bathory Idi Amin Ivan the Terrible Jeffery Dahmer Josef Fritzl Josef Mengele Joseph Stalin Kim Il-sung The Ku Klux Klan Nero Osama bin Laden Pol Pot Saddam Hussein Mao Zedong The Taliban Torquemada Vlad the Impaler DISEASES: AIDS Amyotrophic Lateral Sclerosis Bubonic Plague Cholera Chronic Diarrhea Cystic Fibrosis Dysentery Ebola Virus Gonorrhea Herpes Leprosy Mad Cow Malaria Necrotizing Fasciitis Polio Rabies Scurvy Swine Flu Smallpox MISCELLANEOUS: Alcoholism Anorexia Nervosa and eating disorders Arson Bestiality Cannibalism Capital punishment Castration Child abuse Colonoscopies Coprophilia/phagia Drug abuse/addiction Electric torture The gassing of cats and dogs that have been abandoned Genocide Human sacrifice Identity theft Losing one's favorite childhood toy Mustard gas Necrophilia Neo-Nazism One's grandmother dying Pedophilia Racism Rape Religious intolerance Stillborn babies Suicide Walking on broken glass Working on weekends

Why haven't the Miami "Big Three" won a championship together? They don't play as a team. They rely on three people to score all their points when there are at least two other people on the court at all times. They jinxed themselves because they thought they were going to win every title until their contracts were up.

kyle dosnt eat dick...

What do you call a black man with a well paid job? A sucess and a credit to himself and his family

Roses are red, Violets are blue, Sausage is brown, and so is my wife.

What did the umpire yell to the flatulent player at bat? FOUL BOWEL!

A Muslim walks out of a bar... Because he doesn't drink alcohol

How do you make a little girl cry twice? You finish on her teddy bear.

what happens when a girl poops? she wipes her butt.

Why is a jewish man so tall? Genetics

There are 263 birds on a fence, a farmer shot 1 how many are left? 0 the rest flew away.

Whats worse then a pile of dead babies? One live baby at the bottom, eating its way out.

Roses are red hulk is green, I'd smash that ass, If you know what I mean !

-Knock Knock -Who's there? -To. - To Who? -To whom.

A guy went to a haunted house on Friday the thirteenth… it gave him a small fright and he continued on with his day

How many monkeys can play COD at once? It depends on how many controllers you have.

sooo.how do you get a bonner when your in a room with lady gaga???? you tell lady gaga to turn around and you think of brittany spears bending over get it nahhh probably not

What happened when the joke was bad? crippled up like cancer of the eye

Why did Hitler kill himself? Cause he couldn't afford to pay the gas bill.

What do you do if you see a bleeding Mexican in your front yard? Quickly respond to the accident and supply the wounded victim with first aid.

Why did the homeless man get skin cancer Because he didn't have a home so the Suns rays had been directed towards him For 3 years and he was to poor to purchase Sun screen

A baby seal walks into a club. I happens to be that the club is having their bi-annual PETA meeting, and the baby seal is chosen as the organization's new mascot. After touring the nation and meeting important world leaders, the baby seal still wonders why there was a club at the North Pole.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...