What's the difference between Michael Jackson and Michael Jordan? Their last names.

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Roses are flowers Violets are flowers

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Why is Alan in the hospital? Because he got cancer.

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Why didn't the black man brush his teeth today? Because he was already too late for work.

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CHIIIICKKIIIIIIIN!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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What job function does a blonde have in an M&M factory? Quality control or some other function.

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A Blonde, a Jew, a Rooster, and a Mexican walk into a bar and the bartender says, "What is this? Some kind of joke?"

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justin bieber

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A blonde read the newspaper the other day and she saw "Sarah Piplin-laid by 5000 men" She reported it to the owner of the company as I felt it was not appropriate for a family newspaper. The person at the other end of the line asked the blonde, "are you blonde?" "Yes, how do you know?" she replied. "Because it says Sahara Pipeline, you idiot!"

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Three construction workers, an Italian guy, a Mexican guy, and a American guy are sitting on top of a building eating lunch. The Italian is tired of eating meatballs, the Mexican is eating a burrito, and the American is eating a cheeseburger. They are all fed up with eating the same lunch every day. The next day they all jump off the building for unrelated reasons. It is a tragedy and their families mourn the loss.

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The Game.

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Why did the elephant cross the road? The chicken was on vacation.

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A:Will you be my valentine? B:No

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You know what they say about men with large feet? Large shoes.

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Ah dead on it was all Taggart!!!

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What did the man say to the bartender when he wanted a beer? Get me a beer.

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Yo daddy!

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A cup of ranch walks into a lemon

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What's worse than biting into an apple and finding a worm? Having sexaual relations with your own mother.

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Why'd the aborted fetus cross the road? 9/11

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Knock knock What

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Q: Why did the baby stop crying? A: Because it was satisfied.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Due the limited cognitive ability and a lack of critical thinking skills, the chicken mistakenly ventured across the road in search of grain. Luckily the chicken was not injured on this occasion, however other chickens may not be so lucky in the future.

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My bologna has a first name It's O-S-C-A-R... My bologna has a second name It's M-A-Y-E-R... Oscar and Mayer were the names of the pig and the cow that were slaughtered and subsequently processed into the bologna I am eating.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops