Knock knock. Who's there? Sam, your doorbell isn't working.

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Q:What did I get for Christmas? A:You, put on this leash.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I wanted to be cool, But I look like you

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why do they call it history? Women didn't do shit

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Well, it was kind of by chance that it crossed the road and what is the big deal lots of animals cross the road. For example possums, squirrels, deer, raccoons, cats, dogs, rabbits do pretty often too it's weird because sometimes more rabbits cross the road on Easter I don't know if that's just me though, chipmunks, bears, over in Africa probably tigers and lions cross those roads.

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where would you hide 100 dead jews in a car the ashtray because they were all cremated

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I used to play Skyrim but then I took an arrow in the knee. Then, I played MW3 until I took a bullet in the elbow. And now, I'm in the hospital wondering why people keep harming me.

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What happened to the man that jump out of the airplane with no parachute? He landed on a baby and both died almost instantly. The authorities were called and they took care of the situation flawlessly.

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whats funny? laughing at people when they die a slow and painful death.

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when geese fly in a V patteren why is on side longer than the other? not as many geese on that side

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How do you spell Madeleine Mccann? I A N

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What do you call a really dumb girl with downs? Ashley Howard

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why did the baby cross the road? because it was stapled to the chicken -written by sion dafydd jones, uk

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What happened to Emma? I raped her!

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How many feminists does it take to change a light bulb? None, cus feminists can't change shit.

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Question: How many rocks does it take to make a pancake? Answer: Tree.

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-When is a door not a door? -Never

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Why did little Bobby put a firecracker in the dog's ass? Don't worry, he used lube.

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Why did John forget his homework? While driving herself home at 8:00 PM the previous evening, his mother got into a terrible automobile accident. She was rushed to the emergency room, only to find out that one of her main arteries in her right arm was cut. Death was probable for her in the next few hours. John and his father, sitting at home playing a friendly game of chess, were notified of the accident by hospital secretaries. His father rushed John with him to the hospital in his Toyota Camry. Upon arrival, they were notified that John's mother had only a few moments left to live. They ran into her room, and said their last parting words. John's were "I love you, Mom.", and her husband's were "I love you, honey." She then passed away. John began to weep, and his father put his arm around him to try to comfort him, while feeling extreme sadness as well. Around this time, back at home, his dog, Rex, ate his homework that he left on the dining room table. John and his dad then drove back home, crying their eyes out. This kind of sadness they have never experienced before. He will always remember his mom, and love her to bits. His dad, well, he was never really the same after her death. The funeral was scheduled for the next week. John will always remember his mom as being a nice, caring individual with so much love for everyone in the world. Him and his dad later picked out a nice, blue coffin that reads "You will always be missed" on the top of it. They chose it because John's mom's favorite color was blue.

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A flock of ostriches run into a mine field

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Have you seen Stevie Wonder's new house? Neither has he, he's blind.

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What's red and invisible? No tomatoes.

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A: how do u wake up lady gaga? B: you poke her face

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sarah taylor

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops