Why couldn't Larry walk his dog? Larry doesn't have a dog.

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Why didn't the skeleton go to th party? Because he was dead.

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What did Liberia say to Texas? Tag, you're it!

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What is large white and if it fell out of a tree would kill you? A refridgerator

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Knock, Knock. Come in.

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Yourrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr soo uglyyyyyy

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Q: What did the chinese man say to the other Chinese man? A: I don't know, I don't sneak Chinese

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whats the difference between a joke and the holocaust? ...There both funny..Exept for the Holocaust.

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A russian gives away vodka.

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There once was a rose that was red Violets are blue Knock Know who's there? Man I gotta quit huffing glue

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What do you call 200 black men jumping from a plane? Night

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Tommy has no arms and legs. What did he get for Christmas? Cancer

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Hey

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Me: Hey, Johnny! Do you see that Tree? Johnny: No. Me: Neither do I.

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What's worse than 1000 babies stapled to one tree? 1 baby stapled to 1000 tress.

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What happened to boy who fell down the stairs? He died. What happened to the girl who fell down the same stairs? The boy who fell down the stairs hit her down the stairs too and they both died What happened to the man fell down these very same stairs? He got peer pressure and committed suicide.

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Why couldn't the little pirate see the movie? His dad had just died in a freak accident on the boat. He was going to the funeral that day. Life as a pirate isn't at all as it seems. Little Jimmy the pirate, had nothing. He had no family. His mother dead already, his sister and brother refusing to speak to him because he ran off to be a pirate with his father. Clearly, he had no idea what he was getting into, because his father was gone. What was he to do now? He had no one to go to. The ship mates were all either completly insane or never sober. That very night, Jimmy took the pistol off the ship captian and shot himself point blank in the head. Little Jimmy is in a better place now. With his mother and father. In a place where he cant be harmed any more. I miss you Jim <3. ~ Jack Sullivan

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Where's my tractor?

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Two rocks are in the playground. Nothing happens, because rocks are not sentient beings and are thus incapable of producing any sort of activity on their own.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because i was keeping his family at gun-point on the other side.

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Why did the tree get mad at the bush? It didn't. Bushes are inanimate objects, and so are trees.

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Why did the Chicken cross the road? Because, the Farmer had treated the Chicken and the rest of his family with great distaste, thus angering the Chicken to the point of rebellion against the Farmer with hopes of inspiring the other abused farm animals to act likewise.

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What did the black man say to the policeman? "Take it easy."

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Why is it hot outside? Because God made it so.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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