The Sentence Below is True The Sentence Above is False

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First person: Knock, knock. Second person: Who's there? First person: You know. Second person: 'You know' who? First person: O.O LORD VOLDEMORT!

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Q: How do you wake up Lady Gaga A: You pokerface

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Why did the girl run across the street? Because she was being chased by a man with a knife

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Did you hear the joke about the deaf kid? He didn't either.

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A Jew walks into a Furness

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A man walks into a bar. He recieves a concussion and dies of internal bleeding 3 hours later.

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Why did the tree fall down? Because no one caught it.

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Charlie morgans a pussy EDEN HAZARDS A TANK

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That awkward moment when the moment isn't awkward.

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A black man walks into a bar. It turns out he is a notorious serial killer and he procedes to violently murder everyone in the bar.

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What dud the dorito say to the other dorito? Nothing. Sorosis are incapable of speaking because they are doritos

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What do you call a car with no wheels or engine? Immobile

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Yo momma's so dirty that she washes her hands with anti-bacterial soap.

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Once upon a time.

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What is smelly and sticky A poo

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Why did little jennifer shit herself? Because she fell over.

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How do you make a burns victim cry? You show them a mirror.

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What do you call a black man who sells drugs? A pharmacist.

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An old bear-wrestler dies and finds himself at the pearly gates. Confused and at a loss for words due to the unfamiliar circumstance and lack of public toilets, he blurts out "Saint Peter, I presume?" but it was just the train conductor. "Ticket please." He searched his pockets and finally found the ticket. He wished he had a dog, but not a seeing-eye dog because people would assume he was blind. This story illustrates the importance of situational awareness, remembering which pocket you put your ticket in, and not forgetting to go before you leave because you don't know when you'll be able to find a restroom.

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Q: What do you call a man driving a van with a bunch of stuff in the back that doesn't belong to him? A: A delivery man

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Yo mamma so crazy She chloroformed a 4 year old and put her in her trunk and no one has ever heard of her since.

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What's the difference between a black guy and a wet towel? The towel doesn't kick when you hang it

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A black man hailed a taxi cab. He got in, and the taxi drove him to his destination for an appropriate fee.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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