Hey I had a wet and dirty dream about you last night. Really? What happened? You got hit by a bus and I pissed myself laughing. .......

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If I had a dollar for every funny joke on this site... I would have quite a few dollars. I would't be rich, but I'd have enough money to pay for me and three friends to go see a movie. So I'm talking like $40-$55, give or take. However, do keep in mind that that cost does not include the purchase of any popcorn/food/beverages.

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why did the boy fall of the bridge? He got shot in the head.

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How do you get a clown off a swing? You hit him with an axe How can you release your anger at somebody? Kill them How do you stop a bus? Throw small children at it

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What did the Englishman say to the Irishman? "I am from England"

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What is striped black and white? A prisoner in jail arrested for the murder of a 7 year old child.

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how does a black woman find out if she is pregnant? she takes a pregnancy test

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Whats better than winning a gold medal in the special olympics? Not being retarded

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What's ur favorite color? Cancer Made by mark

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Yo mama is so hot that she needed to lower the temperature

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What do you get if you cross James Bond with Osama bin Laden? James bin Laden.

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if a green person is sitting on a green couch in his green room in his green house on his green lawn in his green town, what color is the sky? blue of course. while it is possibe to paint or make all things described in the above paragraph, you cannot paint the sky green because it is actually the color of light when the suns rays reflect on the water droplets within the ozone layer, thus forming the sky. the sky is not a tangible object, so therfore the paint would not be able to properly rest and dry onto the surface.

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What did the boy do when he was bored and broke? He took to the streets selling illicit drugs such as cocaine. Although dangerous, the rush from said danger solved his boredom problem. On top of this, there is a huge market for such substances and he was not broke for much longer.

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Two women are sitting quietly in a corner, minding their own business.

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Q: Whats better than getting raped by a dog? A: Getting raped by a cat.

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Im Jackson Sinclair and Me and Carter Weeks-69;)

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What's the difference between a Duck and Michael Jackson? A Duck has feathers and goes "Quack quack" and Michael Jackson touches little boys......

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Why didn't the pro-choice, pregnant woman have an abortion? It was a planned pregnancy.

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Why did the chicken cross the road... He wanted to get away from all those jerks who kept asking him why he made the decisions that he did. he later committed suicide...

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Yolo: Your Oppurtunity Lies Upon...... oh, wait upon starts with a u... YOLU

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What's grey got white stripes and can't climb trees? Car park.

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why is a squirrel called a squirrel? that's its name.

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Knock knock! Who's there? Hello. We would like to talk about Jesus with you.

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A Woman decides she wants to stop making sanwiches for her sexist boyfriend. She walks away and lives a happy life. In hell.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops