According to standard table etiquette what is rude when someone passes you the salt? Jamming a fork in their eye

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How many licks does it take to get to the tootsie roll center of a tootsie pop? 124

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What did the pet lion say to its owner? Nothing. The lion then proceeded to hunt down its owner, pin him down and rip out his insides. Besides, the likelyhood of owning a lion as a pet is very slim, and even if one did, this act would be highly illegal in most parts of the world.

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What do you call a retarded sheep? Whatever it's name is. There's no sense in torturing it by pointing out the disability which has made it a social outcast it's whole life.

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How do you find the richest person in Mexico? Google it!

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a blond, brunette, and red head all walk out of a hair salon.

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Im Jackson Sinclair and Me and Carter Weeks-69;)

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A very ugly man with has sex with a lamb because he is so ugly. He subsequently gets ghonorhea and dies 2 years later of brain cancer.

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blind man walks into a . . . .. .

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What is black, white, and red all over A penguin in a blender

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Why did the man drink the milk? Because he was a baby.

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Roses are red, violets are blue, I ate your horse.

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man 1 walks by man 2 man 1 says hey buddy whats up man 2 responds do i know you man 1 says no but i saw you seeing a movie on friday man 2 says oh cool but wasn't that movie great man 1 responds ya and man 1 and man 2 become best friends plus man 1 only liked man 2 because he was rich!!!

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What did the man say when he saw a truck in his yard? There's a truck in my yard.

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How do you confuse a blonde? Tell an Anti-Joke.

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What did Billy get for christmas? Nothing he died of lung cancer.

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Yo mamma's handwriting is so bad that its barely legible to most people!

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What did the Black guy say to the White Rapper? I really like your music.

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Why really answer a question when you can just respond, "because you touch yourself." For example, Q: Why did fluffy die? A: Because you touch yourself.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he had just been brutally raped by a lawnmower. The lawnmower had been hit by a car. The woman driving the car was suffering from Alzheimers disease. Which then escalated from the stress of the accident that she took her cat and ripped his right ass cheek then continued on with her day

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Why was the man with cancer bald? He wanted to tan his scalp.

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What looks like a jew, smells like a jew, but claims he isn't jewish? Fletcher Phillips

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How do you crash an airplane? By not knowing how to fly it.

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God bless America, and no where else.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops