Why did little Bobby put a firecracker in the dog's ass? Don't worry, he used lube.

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Knock Knock Get off my property or I'll call the cops on you!- Napoleon Dynamite

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What did Hellen Keller call her dog? Kamikaze-go, because he was an Akita from Japan and that was his name.

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Why did Micheal fall off his bike? Someone threw a chainsaw at him.

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What's the difference between peanut butter and jelly ? Among many things, one is made with peanut butter, the other with fruits.

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What happened to the man that jump out of the airplane with no parachute? He landed on a baby and both died almost instantly. The authorities were called and they took care of the situation flawlessly.

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DOWN

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I helped build the town school. But when people see me, no one says "Hey, there's the guy that built the town school." I helped put out the flames, when the city was on fire. But when people see me they don't say "Hey, there's the hero that saved the city." But I have sex with one goat.... And people judge me justifiably asd having sex with goats is really disgusting and sticks in peoples minds.

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Once my grandpa said: Your generation relies too much on technology. Then I said: No. Your generation relies too much on technology. Then I unplugged his life support.?

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.""-. |a a \ \ / | '-') ; _/ /_ .'/ ; '. / / |'. \ | | '._\ | | | | | \ \_ _.// jgs '._`""`_.' `""`

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Q. What is small, ugly and severely asthmatic? A. My younger brother. Jimmy.

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What did the Ocean say to the Sky? Nothing, it just waved.

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A man is walking down the street when he stumbles upon a school, every school in the area had an American flag outside it, so he sees the flag and atop this flag a man is sitting and he doesn’t look comfortable. Next to the flag pole is a chair with a flag attached to it and the wind is as strong low down. So he looks at the man and says "Sir I think you may be using those wrong." The man on the flagpole says "why?" So he says well this chair is flat and made for sitting and this flag pole has a draw string for the flag. The man atop the flag pole says "I'm sure good will come of this…..im sure." the man says "What good could possibly come of this!" and the man on top of the flag pole looks at him and says "Later……………..you can tell this story to your friends and disappoint them when they find out theirs no punchline."

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A man runs into a house and unloads a round of bullets killing 2 people in the kitchen. He wins Search and Destroy for his team at Nuketown.

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What is black and hangs from the tree in my back yard? a moldy apple.

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What does shit and fire have in common? Hitler gave both to jews.

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What do you call a cow in the grass... A cow in the grass... Dumbas*

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My butt!!!!!!!!

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he was being herded into a slaughter house to be killed, then packaged and shipped out to restaurant venders all across the country.

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i jack off in the school bathroom #yolo -toby limbers

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Have you seen Stevie Wonders new home? No. Neither has he....

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What did the Atheist say in church? His best friend's eulogy.

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What is big, red, and beats rocks? A big, red, rock beater.

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One time Chuck Norris cried. He felt slightly better after the experience, but, unfortunately, his grandmother still died of cancer.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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