How do you make a plumber cry? You kill his family.

What is blue and smells like red paint, Blue Paint

A jew go out of a bar

Once upon a time there were seven dwarfs. They were named Steven, Jason, John, Peter and Alfred.

You are short with no perm, you will never be Kat Willams.

where would you hide 100 dead jews in a car the ashtray because they were all cremated

scenario: 12 men in bikinis throwing snowballs at each other in Africa. Question: Who ate all the world's giant pears? Answer: It was an allergy to noses!!

How many Norwegians does it take to change a light bulb? Only one. But all the replacements are high-tolerance, long-life and non-dimmable.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it lacks the cognitive reasoning ability necessary to determine that walking into oncoming traffic will surely result in death

What's the most annoying thing in the world? Yourself. (Your friends are saying it too, behind your back)

Why did Jimmy fail his math test? Because he had a mental disability

why are you adopted? cause no one loved you.

How many feminists does it take to change a lightbulb? They can't change anything.

9/11

what's yellow, dirty, and looks like a potato? a potato

Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't. It was taken to a factory where it was butchered, processed and eventually fed to America.

A Psychologist said that I am a pessimist... Figures.

(Pretend that your adopted, and no one loves you) Knock Knock Who's there? Not your parents.

Michael Hoffman leaves the gym

Knock Knock Who's there Bannana O He lives next door

WOMAN! I am not a sweetheart at the core, I am slightly sweet on the outside and really really dark and cruel on the inside, so I can trick people into loving me before I consume them! Anyway, sure, I will get to it, first thing when I wake up, like 8 hours from now okay? Moral: Seriously? Are you hoping to see a sweetheart at my core?

What did the Mexican say to the Black guy? Nice to meet you Mr. President. I'm Antonio Villaraigosa, the Mayor of Los Angeles.

What is another word for a woman that ends in unt. Aunt.

How do you know if it's to late to turn your homework in? When the time allotted is up.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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