How do you baby sit a black child? Entertain him with stimulating games to help with his cognitive growth.

What did the beaver say to the other beaver? Nothing because beavers are wild, indigenous species thus incapable of speech.

Roses Are Red, Violets Are Blue, My Heart Skips A Beat, When I Think Of You! :D

Why did the baby die? I killed it.

whats gayer than 2 homosexuals? 3 homosexuals.

how many licks does it take to get to the center of a tootsie pop? 1027

I saw a man with a hungry look in his eye, like the kind you get from not eating for a while

What's the difference between a Justin Beiber concert and a hedgehog? With a hedgehog, the pricks are on the outside, but in a Justin Beiber concert, the pricks are on the inside.

A boy and his father are in a car crash. The father dies and the son is transported to the nearest hospital. Once there, a surgeon is brought in to operate on the boy. The surgeon steps back and says "I can't operate on this boy, I haven't had enough training for such a situation." The hospital calls in another surgeon and they are more qualified for the event. Then the surgeon wakes up and realizes the boy is in critical condition. There is blood drenching his shirt and there is only seconds to operate. Suddenly, the boy wakes up and realizes he has just survived a car crash. Suddenly Leonardo DeCaprio enters with a girl. The world turns on its side and they all wake up to find them selves a victim of Inception. Then the caterpillar wakes up and realizes it has immense mental capacity, even above those of an above-average human. Then I woke up and realized I lost my job. MLIA.

*Ring* *Ring* Bartender : Hello? Stranger:Is Mike Hunt their? Bartender: Mike Hunt! Is Mike Hunt here?! Mike Hunt: Oh thank god! I've been anticipating this phone call for a while now! I've been stranded here for hours and my wife's been killed and the killer is still out there!

What did the boy do when he was bored and broke? He took to the streets selling illicit drugs such as cocaine. Although dangerous, the rush from said danger solved his boredom problem. On top of this, there is a huge market for such substances and he was not broke for much longer.

guess what chicken butt

feces

Ross Tumilty is gay 8===D

What do a grape and a plane have in common? They both have wings... except for the grape!

Why does Michael J. Fox make the best milkshakes? Because he uses only the finest ingedients.

On the first day of Christmas my true love gave to me, AIDS

What do you get if you cross James Bond with Osama bin Laden? James bin Laden.

Thanks

What do Michael Jackson and Whitney Houston have in common? They were both great singers.

How many blondes does it take to screw in a light bulb? It shouldn't take more than one person to do this task, regardless of hair color.

What do you get when you mix your mom and your dad? YOU!!!

How do you make a blonde scream? Set her on fire.

Whats brown and sticky? Anal sex

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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