a man walks into a bar, and says "can i get a beer please?" the bartender hands him his beer, and as soon as the man starts to take a drink, the man dies of a massive heart attack because of his unhealthy lifestyle

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what is the hardest part of eating a vegetable? the wheelchair

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Ask me if I'm a tree. Are you a tree? Nope.

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Justin Beiber and a speaker = no hearing within a 25 mile area

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why did the chicken cross the road? I Lied, it was a cow not a chicken and it was a highway full of speeding cars slamming into the cow body until it would stop moooooooooooooooooving...

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IF UR READING THIS EXPECTING A GOOD JOKE HERE GOES.... WHY DID THE CUP SAY HELLO GET IT ? I DONT

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Why was 1 afraid of 2? Because 234!

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How any blondes dose it take to screw in a lightbulb? 3 one to hold the light bulb and two to rotate the ladder

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Why did the boy drop his Ice cream? A terrorist threw a refrigerator at him.

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Who can you NOT apply the term "Gentle Giant" to? Dwarfs.

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Why aren't there alligators in a bookstore? Because alligators would pose a danger to customers.

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A white man and a black man were walking down the street. The black borrowed the white man's phone to make a quick call when an incoming call came in. The black man, while trying to hand the phone back, says, "Here, it's your Dad." The white man replies, "No, that's my phone." Amazed at how uneducated the black man was.

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whats harder than watching a dog get hit by a bus? my boner..

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Why did the elephant fall out of the tree Because the post man threw a fridge at it

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Why did the homeless man get skin cancer Because he didn't have a home so the Suns rays had been directed towards him For 3 years and he was to poor to purchase Sun screen

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Why did bob die Cause he got hit by a mailbox

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Sometimes people get confused when sentences don't end the way they elephant.

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Why was the first name of the boy 'Price'? His parents were Hamsters.

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What's purple and eats rocks? Scientists are still looking into this question.

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What is so sad about 5 black people going over a cliff in a Cadaliac? That was my Cadaliac

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knock knock 'who's there?' 'just open the door'

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Oh my God, my friend just got hit by a truck. Lets go get ice cream

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A) Knock Knock. B) Who's There? A) Me. B) Oh, well I'm in the shower, just give me five minutes. A) OK, I'll wait in the kitchen, is it cool if I heat up a hot pocket? B) Yeah sure, just not the pepperoni one, I only have one left and I was saving it for lunch. A) Alright.

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Ken: Your dog is sick, he needs to see a vet. Megan: Omg, what is it? Ken: It's a medical person who treats animals.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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