What items don't float? A school bus full of children

Nero, its not that, people are leaving left and right, you where right when you told me that I was holding into the remains of a rotting corpse, the underground society is dead and money alone will never bring it back, but I got the funds and you the talent, is there nothing that can be achieved? You are a lawyer, you write novels, you live a family life, you work for who the hell knows what organization, is this what you traded your, or if I may say, our legacy for? I dont suspect you Nero, I am disappointed in you, part of me wishes you where a backstabber, rather than the one that just quit.

Why did the chicken cross the road? To meet with his great grandmother who got rushed to hospital due to having an epileptical seizure and is in life threatning conditions.

A Weight loss service that works

How do you make a clown sad? Throw a brick at him.

Why did the British boy win his talent show? Because he had straight teeth

An Englishman, an Irishman, and a Scotsman were stuck on a desert island, because they were touring investment property islands off the coast of Dubai and their boat had engine trouble. They were eventually picked up in a helicopter.

"An alcohol walks into a man. He is a family and is destroying the bar." Says the drunk man to the bartender who wrote it on Anti-joke.com.

Passing by

Why was the woman terrified of being screened by the TSA? Because she's embarrassingly obese, liked most Americans.

You know what's addicting? Heroine.

Why can all black people dance? I have no idea, quite frankly I find that to be a insensitve racial stereotype.

What did the latino say when he was struck over the head with a shovel? "ouch"

- What's green and invisible? *holds out empty hand* - This cabbage

i just want thumbs up so i feel better about myself.....

Yo momma is so fat... Her body mass is above average.

Whats worse than finding a worm guts in your apple? Being raped by a alien with no arms then passed on to his comrades to be raped for the rest of your life.

Why did the chicken cross the road? to get to the other side.

What's long and yellow? A yellow tube.

Why did the priest kill his family? Preists can't marry, therefore have not families.

Knock Knock Whose there? Lemons Lemons who? The fruit

Q: what did the common cold say to the cough? A: you are SO annoying!

why didn't the food in your microwave warm up ? because you didn't press start.

roses are red vioets are blue i have chlamydia now so do you....

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...