What did the brick say to the face? Nothing bricks don't talk.

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why didnt anyone like matt adams? cuz hes a stupid buttface

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Whats worse than breaking your toe? Being raped

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How do you get a small freckly boy to stop watching television. You turn off the television.

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For anti-joke.com, there should be a section called "Hot" that shows new jokes which are given 5 thumbs up or up. This way we would get new jokes on the popular section instead of having the same ones for a very long time. I know this isn't a joke, but thumbs up if you agree.

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A black man walks into a bar with a monkey on his shoulder. The bartender asks "Where did you get that?" The monkey replies "Africa, there are thousands of them."

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How did Eric Clapton's son fall to his death? He crawled out the window.

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What's long and yellow? A yellow tube.

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What is the best type of pepper? Well, some people say that the yellow pepper is the sweetest and most delicious, although others prefer red, green or orange peppers.

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A labrador, a chihuahua, and a great dane walk onto a bar. They are strays and were brought to the pound where they were more than likely put down or adopted.

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Q: What's brown and sticky? A: slightly aged post it note glue

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Why did the autistic man cross the road? He was also depressed. It was a highway.

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Dear diary, its day 230, the apple supply's are running low, the doctors are closing in, the dentists have been chanting "its time to go to the dentist" all day, I wont be able to hold them back much longer, help.

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Passing by

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Why was the woman terrified of being screened by the TSA? Because she's embarrassingly obese, liked most Americans.

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A blond, a brunette and a redhead jump off a cliff. Which one hits the ground last? Depends on their weight and drag co-efficient.

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Good for him. Thats wonderful!

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A horse walks into a bar and orders a scotch on the rocks. Realizing how strange this occurrence was, the bartender immediately calls the local news station and tells them there is a talking horse in his place of business and it would be in their best interest to come do a story on it, because the likelihood of them finding another story of this magnitude is quite slim.

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Your friend is so gay that he came out of the closet and was accepted warmly by his friends and family for who he is a human being.

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why are black peroples noses so big ? because thats where God held them when he spray painted them

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A dyslexic man walks into a bar, which happens to be holding a support group for dyslexic people tonight. The name of the bar and all patrons are palindromes to avoid confusion.

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Q: how many people with adhd does it take to screw in a lightbulb? A: wanna go ride bikes?

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why is thus joke stupid? because it is! deal with it!

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Excuse me sir, you wouldn't happen to have the time, would you?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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